Vampire Fiction: A Sucker Free Guide to Vampires

Forget about Buffy and those damn sparkly non-vampires.  The ORIGINAL teenage vampires to raise havoc in California drank blood from the bottle and took orders from Jack Bauer himself.  Come to think of it, why has no one ever thought of combining the Lost Boys franchise with 24?  As if Kiefer Sutherland wasn't immortal enough.

Vam-Powers: Flight, glorious blonde mullets

Likes: Amusement parks, train tracks, deer antlers

Dislikes: Corey Haim.  Sad.

We're starting to think there's no way to count the number of times on one hand that Ethan Hawke has played a scientist discovering something controversial.  But we still love vampire flicks, even if it turns out that the cure to vampirism is being tossed into a lake at sunlight. 

Vam-Powers: Ability to transform into Man-Bat when deprived of blood, domination of society

Likes: Blood-farming, blood popcorn, blood-flavored blood

Dislikes: Humans, going batty, velociraptors

We never officially saw any vampires within the Harry Potter films, but J.K. Rowling has confirmed their existence within the wizarding world, and we can only speculate as to what they look like.  This picture however, would be our best guess.

Vam-Powers: Irresistable to students, proficient use of the bubble-head charm, looking like Robert Pattinson

Likes: Blood, trophies, franchises

Dislikes: Before They Were Stars, Avada Kedavra, fathers incessantly crying "MY BOY!!!"

Ah, the Whedon-Verse.  Home to many of the Women of Whedon, and where very few mistakes are made.  Whedon vampires all tend to age differently, some gaining more demonic visages after a few centuries, some even growing hooves, while the average maintain human appearances with retractable "vamp-faces."

Vam-powers: Immortality, strength, speed, healing, enhanced senses

Likes: Blood (particularly slayer blood), carnage, blooming onions, brooding.

Dislikes: Sunlight (without blankets), crosses, wooden stakes, fire, Halloween, souls