Star Wars Pop Tarts: A Commentary
Feature by Matt Caracappa, Contributing Editor
It's true. The jelly-filled pastries have finally found the Force. The cinematic toaster treats arrive in a "Star Wars red" box with Darth Vader lurking on the front, while the pastries themselves tie into the movie with an all new flavor: "Lava Berry," in tribute to the fateful duel between Anakin Skywalker and his mentor, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Would that be considered a spoiler, the fact that they battle near lava pits? I certainly hope not, because if we're to the point where boxes of Pop Tarts must be riddled with "spoiler warning" stickers, we're probably starting to care about these movies a little too much.
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The Star Wars Pop Tarts are presented in an ungodly red shade. The pastry crust has been dyed red, the frosting follows suit and even the jelly middle looks like lava. Yes, it's odd for Star Wars to be immortalized as a Pop Tart...but at least they're inspired! In terms of taste, they may seem a bit too much like "kid candy" for longtime Pop Tarts enthusiasts - they're sweet, they're sugary and, indeed, they're capable of turning your lips bright red.
Though nothing's going to beat Star Wars Pop Tarts, Kellogg's has gone ahead and created a new Star Wars cereal. Depending on how criminal you're feeling while grocery shopping, the boxes come with either Yoda or Darth Vader on 'em.
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The cereal itself isn't the stuff of legends - just a bunch of sugary oats with fairly nondescript, chalky marshmallows. Doesn't matter much, since few who buy Star Wars cereal do so on the merits of taste. There's just something cathartic about staring at Darth Vader's big black head during breakfast. It feels like the makings of an interesting day.
This barely scratches the surface - you can find your beloved Star Wars characters on everything from boxes of Cheez-Its to soda cans right now, and the trend probably won't die down until all of the critics pan the movie and Lucas' marketing strategists are forced back into hiding. Until then, enjoy the grub!
