Essential wizard accessories include a wand, a robe, a pointy hat with symbols on it and, most importantly, a beard. Nothing symbolizes well-earned magical power more than a gigantic carpet of facial hair hanging down to your belly button. The most epic sorcerers of all time have sported some of the best wizard beards, and in this feature we take a tour through the world of magical facial hair, ranking them on size and style.
The Best Wizard Beards
Facial hair is all the rage these days, and some credit can go to the majestic beards sported by powerful sorcerers. It is an essential accessory for the magic-user, and these eleven are the best wizard beards ever grown.
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By K. Thor Jensen August 31, 2011 |
Credit: DC Comics
| 6 | Shazam |
DC's wizardly master is kind of a creep, but boy does he have a great beard. When young newsboy Billy Batson wandered into a mysterious cave in the subway, he met the great and powerful Shazam, who gave him the miraculous ability to transform into the super-powered Captain Marvel merely by speaking his name. Then he killed himself by dropping a giant concrete block on his head. Comics, everybody! Shazam has one of the best wizard beards, and for good reason. It's probably the longest on this list seeing as how it's been growing for longer than John McCain's been alive.
Credit: Warner Brothers
| 5 | Merlin |
Merlin is one of the most famous wizards of all time, so why didn't John Boorman let Nicol Williamson really show off his beard in Excalibur? This is an example of a wizard beard that goes too conservative, as Williamson could pass for a well-groomed dot-com executive if he wasn't wearing that chrome headpiece. It's unknown how Merlin can muster any magical energy at all with a beard that barely goes off of his chin.
Credit: DC Comics
| 4 | Mordru |
The world of DC Comics has an evil wizard as well, but this one's from the future. Mordru menaced the Legion of Super-Heroes on more than a few occasions. When you're fighting a team that has Superboy, a dude who is just as powerful as Superboy but not vulnerable to Kryptonite, another dude who can use any of Superboy's powers one at a time and about fifty other superhuman teenagers, you need to have your swag on. Mordru had that swag - just check out that picture. If you can tear your gaze away from his crazy eyes, you'll see one of the best wizard beards. It is full and magnificent, overflowing with pure evil.
Credit: ABC
| 3 | Count Petofi |
As seen on classic supernatural soap Dark Shadows, Count Andreas Petofi was a mad powerful warlock who could pull all kinds of supernatural shenanigans, from switching bodies with unsuspecting victims to laying down awful curses. Most of his magic was focused in his right hand, which didn't do him any good when it got stolen by gypsies. Although he has one of the best wizard beards, it would have been smarter to put some of that power into his scruff. Maybe his evil schemes might have been more successful that way. Unlike many other beards on this list, Petofi's extends farther horizontally than vertically - a bold choice for a necromancer.
Credit: Warner Brothers
| 2 | Shang Tsung |
Normally I would be up in arms at calling Mortal Kombat villain Shang Tsung's facial hair one of the best wizard beards, but there's something about his neatly-groomed whiskers that just work. When you see him as an old man, he has the classic Chinese wizard facial hair - long mustache, equally long beard - but when he de-ages himself to fight to the death, it's just a goatee. Interestingly enough, losing his beard doesn't seem to affect his power levels, which makes me think he might store the extra beard hair in a pocket dimension.
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