Best Mockbusters

It's about a bold adventurer with a fedora and whip who goes in search of a mysterious skull while avoiding booby traps, and it sucks. Guess which, this film or Crystal Skull, I'm talking about. The answer is: both. And yes, I am a bitter Indiana Jones fan who went to see Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 24 --That's TWENTY-FOUR -- times in the theatres because of a serious case of denial about just how bad the movie was. The next one better not disappoint. Are you listening, Spielberg?

Up to this point, I've been discussing films that are all by the same company. No, I'm not kidding. These guys are called "The Asylum" and they make 100% ripoffs. For this entry, I'm gonna step away from them for a sec - they've gotten enough free advertising as it is.

This film comes to us courtesy of another company called Toyland Video. They're situated in Brazil, and they also make blatant ripoffs. I'm sure you've guessed by the title which film it's ripping off. Here's another hint: the original film is made by Pixar. Forget about a racing legend. How about a film where a taxi wants to become a racecar? That's much better.

Did you think Little Cars was a blatant ripoff? Try this one on for size. It's about a house that flies tied to a giant balloon. That's pretty much it. Do you really think the writers behind this would have put any thought into the script? In addition, both this film and Little Cars are also available in America, courtesy of Gaiam, a company that usually releases yoga how-to DVDs.

Unfortunately, the only trailer I've managed to find is on Amazon.

For once, the plot isn't a complete ripoff. Is it about a panda who dreams of becoming a kung-fu master? Nope, he wants to be a ballet dancer. Kung-fu is something that, according to the trailer, he has to do. No wait, sorry. The trailer didn't mention kung-fu. What he "has to do" is become a Little Panda Fighter... whatever that means.