From MechSuits to Jarhead: Excitement and Skepticism for Avatar

The world is at war over Pandora (and they aren't even fighting about unobtanium).

After a decade of deep sea documentaries and photographic innovation, there are only a few weeks left until James Cameron returns to the big screen.  Fanboys and plebs are coming together in heated argument as the excitement builds to the release of Avatar.  Can the CG live up to the expectations?  Will the 3D make us vomit?  Is it a poorly written Dancing in Wolves in space?  Will it be any damn good?

Welcome to the feud.

Matt Patches, member of the Church of Cameron:

5) The World of Pandora

"Ladies and Gentleman, you are not in Kansas anymore." While I've never been to Kansas, I assume you'd be hard-pressed to find a floating mountain or a thousand-year-old tree anywhere in the state.  Cameron spent years developing the lush landscape of Pandora and the alien environment should both dazzle and draw us in to Jake's adventure with the Na'vi.  Pretttty colorrrrs...

4. Col. Quaritch's dedication to his Mech Suit

Put a ripped, weathered military man like Col. Quaritch into robotic armor and you've got yourself a villain to make Joseph Campbell proud.  What makes Quaritch so badass is his insistence to use the mech not just for war, but everyday activities like rallying the troops or pointing out that Jake's crippled.  Here's hoping he chomps a giant robot cigar with his Mechwarrior hands.

3) The Leonopteryx

Avatar is sure to showcase plenty of Pandora's alien beasts: the Mountain Banshees, the Na'vi's fleet of domesticated Dire Horses, and, of course, the ferocious Thanator.  But wait til we see a sky full of Leonopteryxs soaring through the air biting the crap out of countless Scorpion Choppers.  Pteryodactyl monsters + guns = awesome.  It's math people!

2) Na'vi Acrobatics

The Na'vi do not simply walk to a destination, they parkour.  Jake, Princess Neytiri, and the rest of the oversized Smurfs look to keep the adrenaline pumping for Avatar's two and a half hour runtime by bouncing from mountainsides to tree limbs to winged beasts.  Ten-foot, blue aliens pulled out of Cirque de Soleil solidify "walk and talks" as a thing of the past.

1) The Grand Finale

Awful or not (not!), Cameron's Avatar is sure to end with a bang.  Many, many, many bangs.  I have no reason to believe the final confrontation between the marines and the Na'vi won't send me back to my 7-year-old mindset: a Saturday morning sugar rush complete with high-pitched squealing and jumping in my seat.  Man, I can't wait for the sequel.

Jordan Hoffman, also excited, but perhaps a little more skeptical:

5) Al Gore In Space

Even in the future, environmentalists will be there to bum you out.  Avatar presents a world where we have to stress about elements that don't even exist yet.  Is my 4Runner guzzling up too much Unobtanium!?!?!?

4) Unleashing the Inner Furry

I have enough socio-sexual problems.  Do I need to add being a furry to that list?  Zoe Saldana and her red mini-skirt had my tongue hanging out during most of Star Trek, how will I react to her 10 ft tall blue form in Avatar?  Michelle Rodriguez, as we already discussed, makes a nice gateway drug.

3) Wasting My Time Looking For Easter Eggs

There's no doubt I'll miss a key plot point because I'll be scanning the background looking for some deep dish nerdpie.  We've already had a stroke when we uncovered the possible Facehugger sitting on Sigourney Weaver's shelf.

2)  Just Unplug!

If Jake Sully is causing problems for the Colonial Terran Forces with those uppity Na'vi, why doesn't Col. Quaritch just, like, take him out of that tube?!  (What really scares me is that I'm sure the movie will come up with a reason why he can't just do this - and it will be lame.)

1)  Dumb Dialogue

I can handle "you're not in Kansas anymore" but I can't handle "Are you out of your Jarhead mind?!?"  I know I've only seen teasers and promos so far, but everything that's come out of a character's mouth (be he Human or Na'vi) has been devoid of subtlety.  I fear that with so much attention being given to the way sunlight warms the skin on Neytiri's ears, no one bothered to do a second dialogue pass after the table read.

Which side are you on?  Sound off in the comments!  Avatar hits theaters on December 18th and you can check out all the latest info here!

We've finally seen Avatar!

Create your own Avatar Character at Hero Machine!

All hail the King!