This chapter challenges one of the most cherished traditions
of all present-day human cultures.
Usually when we think of being in love, we also think of getting
married.
For the most part, the married life-style
has not been overtly promoted and supported by any vested interests.
Rather, it is just the assumed style of life for adults
in most cultures of the planet Earth.
However, it is possible to have wonderful loving
relationships
without ever becoming an official, legal couple
—without contracting a marriage
according to the laws of any part of the Earth.
If we are really free-thinking and creative persons,
why would we squeeze our love into
the relationship-pattern defined by various governments?
With a view to helping a few people resist this form
of enculturation,
this chapter examines one-by-one
the various 'reasons' for getting married.
This might put most readers on the defensive,
since they usually have affirmed the institution of matrimony
without seriously considering
any alternative structures of relationship.
When we look at the twelve most common causes of
wedlock,
we will be able to say which (if any) apply to our own situations.
If we are striving to become more Authentic
—that is, more focused,
centered, purposeful, & committed—
why would we voluntarily conform to the traditions of marriage?
HOW READING
"Loving
without Marrying"
MIGHT
CHANGE YOUR LOVE-LIFE
If you read this chapter and
take its content to heart,
you might decide not to bind the persons you love
into the institution of wedlock.
This will require you to think clearly about
what other structures you would choose instead of marriage,
but this can become a very creative exercise
in designing your own loving relationship
—making
it something that really suits you
rather than a general pattern-of-life designed for all adults.
If you do decide to love without marrying,
you might also decide to write your own relationship contract.
And if you do think clearly about
each and every element of your relationship,
you will probably devise
some better answers than the standard ones.
A follow-up book arising from this chapter is
called:
Designer Marriage: Write Your Own Relationship Contract.
https://s3.amazonaws.com/aws-website-jamesleonardpark---freelibrary-3puxk/RC.html
This book is organized around 28 Questions
that should be asked and answered by all couples
in on-going loving relationships.
If you actually write down your own Answers,
then you will probably have a very different life
than if you merely try to fit yourselves into
the marriage-model as already developed in your culture.
revised
9-28-2007; 2-13-2014; 2-24-2017;