INTRODUCTION  1

I. WHO NEEDS A RELATIONSHIP CONTRACT?                          1

    A. The Commitment Dilemma:
            She Wants Commitment; He Wants Freedom.        3

    B. Domestic Partnership as a Compromise or Transition.     7

    C. The Weaker Partner Will Benefit Most
            from an Explicit Contract.                                       9

    D. Do You Already Have an Implicit Contract?            11

II. ADVANTAGES AND BENEFITS OF A RELATIONSHIP CONTRACT    12

    A. Transcending Unwanted Marriage Traditions.         12

    B. Clarifying Expectations.       13

    C. Identifying Potential Problems in Advance.       14

    D. Resolving Conflicts.       16

    E. Making Negotiations More Calm and Rational.       16

    F. Increasing Security, Predictability, & Commitment.       18

III. ADVANTAGES AND BENEFITS TO SOCIETY
        OF PERMITTING AND ENCOURAGING
        RELATIONSHIP CONTRACTS                                      21

    A. Recognizing and Accommodating a Diversity of Relationships.       21

    B. Reforming Antiquated Laws.       22

    C. Creating Greater Family Stability.       23

PART I. THE DAILY SHAPE OF THE RELATIONSHIP       24

Question 1. Where will we live?                                     24

Question 2. Who will take care of the household?       25

Question 3. How will we make decisions in this relationship?   31

Question 3a. How will we resolve disputes?         33

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Question 4. Will we have a ceremony, rings, etc.?          36

Question 5. What specific patterns of behavior
        will we follow or avoid?                                         37

Question 6. How Long will our relationship last?        39

Question 6a. How shall we set a renewal/expiration date?       45

Question 6b. How far into the future
        can we reasonably commit ourselves?       46

Question 6c. How will we change, amend,
        or renew our contract?                                 49

Question 6d. How would we dissolve our partnership?     52

Question 8. How will we handle sickness and disability?       60

Question 9. How will we handle religious issues?               63

PART III. CHILDREN—DURING AND AFTER THE RELATIONSHIP       64

Question 10. Will we have children?
        If so, how many and when?                                        64

Question 10a. Who will be responsible
        for birth-control measures?       66

Question 10b. What will we do about
        an unplanned pregnancy?       66

Question 12. Who will take care of the children?               69

Question 13. Who will get custody of the children
            if we separate?                                                         73

Question 14. How much child-support will be paid
            if we separate?                                                         78

Question 15. How will we deal with blended families?      82

    A. Child-Support Problems in Blended Families.       82

    B. Other Problems of Blended Families.       84   

    C. Remarriage after 60.       85

PART IV. INCOME, EXPENSES, & CAREERS       87

Question 16. How will we handle money?
        What is our cash-flow pattern?                                  87

Question 17. Who will support the household?                91

Question 17a. Does either partner agree to support the other?       93

Question 18a. Will we continue to share income
        if our relationship ends?       101     

Question 20. How will we handle household expenses?    106

PART V. ASSETS, PROPERTY, & DEBTS       109     

Question 21. Who will own what property?                       109

Question 22. Will we buy a house together?                     115

          1. INDIVIDUAL OWNERSHIP.       115
          2. JOINT TENANTS WITH RIGHT OF SURVIVORSHIP.       116
          3. TENANTS IN COMMON.       117
          4. JOINT TRUST.       118
          5. BUSINESS PARTNERSHIP.       118
          6. COOPERATIVE CORPORATION.       118

Question 23. Who will own property
        acquired during the relationship?                               121

Question 24. How will we handle debts?                             127

PART VI. INSURANCE, RETIREMENT, & DEATH                          139

Question 25. Will we have any health insurance?       139

Question 26. Will we have any life insurance?       139

Question 27. How will we handle pension benefits?       140

Question 28. What will happen when one partner dies?       142  
  

PART VII. SPECIAL SITUATIONS       144

    A. Improvised Kinship Systems: Teen-Age Parenthood without Marriage:
            Will Informal Families Become More Common in the Future?         144                                          

    B. Group Marriages—More than Two Partners.       152

    C. Same-Sex Marriages.       153

             26 RIGHTS NOT YET AVAILABLE TO SAME-SEX COUPLES

             1. Inheritance.       154
             2. Social security benefits.       154
             3. Health insurance as a 'family'.       155
             4. Income-tax benefits.       155
             5. Family leave, family visitors, & medical decisions.       155
             6. Gaining citizenship by getting married.       156
             7. In-state tuition for a spouse.       156
             8. Disabled-spouse benefits.       156
             9. Protection of a jointly-owned home from medical catastrophe.       156
             10. Unemployment benefits.       157
             11. Workers' compensation benefits.       157
             12. Relocation benefits.       157
             13. Pension benefits.       157
             14. The right to sue for loss of 'consortium' and 'wrongful death'.        158
             15. Veterans' and other military benefits.       158
             16. The right to create certain kinds of family trusts.       158
             17. Estate-tax marital deduction.       158
             18. Securing a mortgage.     159
             19. Renting a home or apartment.     159
             20. Life insurance.     159
             21. Loans and credit.     159
             22. 'Family rates' and 'family memberships'.     159
             23. The right to adopt children.       159
             24. Custody of children from a former marriage.       160
             25. The right to 'privileged communication'.       161
             26. Social and psychological benefits.       161

             EXTENDING THESE RIGHTS
             TO COMMITTED SAME-SEX COUPLES       161

             HOW AND WHEN WILL SAME-SEX MARRIAGES
             BECOME POSSIBLE?       162

                     A. ACTIONS BY THE COURTS       162
                     B. ACTIONS BY LEGISLATIVE BODIES       162

PART VIII. A LEGAL CONTRACT OR AN INFORMAL AGREEMENT?                165

    A. A Legal Contract.       165

    B. An Informal Agreement.       168

    C. Enforcing an Informal Agreement.       169

    D. Amendments and Resolution of Disputes.       170

THE FUTURE:
        OPEN QUESTIONS ABOUT RELATIONSHIP CONTRACTS        176

    A. Will Contract Negotiations Undermine
            the Emotional Basis of Relationships?       176

    B. Do Contracts Foster Negative Attitudes?       177

    C. Do Contracts Undermine Trust?       178

    D. Do Contracts Create Cold Obligations?       180

    E. Will Contracts Protect Women?       180

    F. Will Relationship Contracts Be Flexible Enough
            to Meet New Circumstances?       182

    G. Will Relationship Contracts Create Disputes and Litigation?       183

    H. Does a Relationship Contract that Specifies Conditions
            for Ending the Relationship Contribute to Instability?        184

BOOKS RELEVANT TO RELATIONSHIP CONTRACTS       186