James Park is a past staff member of the University Unitarian Universalists.
For 7 years in the late 1980s and early 1990s,
he was Coordinator of the UUU and later Administrator
for the Minnesota Unitarian Universalist Campus Ministries.
For many years he served on the MUUCM Board of Directors,
first as an ex-officio member while he was a paid staff member,
then as an at-large member,
and finally as the congregational representative
of the First Unitarian Society of Minneapolis,
a term which ended in 1998.

    This listing was updated and expanded in 2007:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/CM-YA-PG.html
See which format works best for you.
The links are more direct from the updated version.

    The following list of program possibilities
is offered for the UUU and any other organizations
for which these programs might be appropriate.
If interested, send an e-mail to James Park:
PARKx032@TC.UMN.EDU.

    Enough background material is usually provided,
so that similar programs could be offered on other campuses.

These events are organized into 4 groups:

1. LOVE, SEX, & RELATIONSHIPS;

2. PERSONAL GROWTH & LIFE-CHOICES;

3. RELIGION & SPIRITUALITY;

4. MEDICAL ETHICS & DEATH

1. LOVE, SEX, & RELATIONSHIPS

    First we will distinguish romantic love
from three other phenomena with which it is often confused:

(1) sexual attraction,

(2) mate-selection & marriage, &

(3) familiarity.

Then we will briefly discuss the 26 features of romantic love.
And we may answer as many of the 180 questions as we like.

    Romantic love is: sudden, blind, uncertain, worried,
fantastic, manipulative, ecstatic, projecting,
preoccupied, compulsive, & overwhelming.

    If you would like to see all 26 of the features of romantic love,
click these magic blue words: How Do We Know If We Are In Love?

    For a one-page outline of this presentation and discussion,
click these blue words: Romantic Love is a Hoax!

    For a three-page article on this theme, go to:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/HMS-LS1.html

    We will explore 7 powerful pre-existing needs:

(1) security,

(2) approval,

(3) romance,

(4) sex,

(5) affection & intimacy,

(6) communication & companionship,

(7) relationship structure.

    An alternative form of love is based on
emergent, unexpected values we discover in new relationships.

    For a one-page outline of this presentation and discussion,
click these blue words: Loving without Needing.

    However, within ordinary, possessive relationships,
jealousy is normal:
If we find ourselves replaced, supplanted,
traded-in for a better model,
we naturally feel a sense of
loss, anger, grief, and betrayal.

    This bitter feeling of hurt and hostility we call jealousy
can become one of the most powerful obsessions of human life.
And yet, this emotion is a social product—with deep cultural roots.
If we have learned how to feel jealous,
can we unlearn this response?

    For a one-page outline of this presentation and discussion,
click these magic blue words:
Romantic Jealousy: Cause and Prevention.

    For a three-page online article, click these words:
Romantic Jealousy: Cause and Prevention.

    Perhaps no loving relationship
is completely based on Authenticity,
But if we remain within
the needs-and-deficiencies dynamics of love,
we will never begin to move toward
the kinds of loving relationships that are possible
for people growing toward greater Authenticity.

    A one-page outline, including the 21 scales of growth,
will appear on your screen, if you click these magic blue words:
Growing in Love:
Becoming Less Dependent and More Authentic in 21 Ways.

    However, instead of just two possible gender-patterns,
there are actually thousands of possible gender-personalities.
Within both 'masculinity' and 'femininity',
here are both admirable and regrettable personality traits .
(There are also neutral characteristics
associated with both 'masculinity' and 'femininity'.)
The Gender-Pattern Chart will help each of us to make explicit
just what personality characteristics we now have
—and perhaps what traits we would like to change.

    A one-page outline of this presentation and discussion
will appear if you click these magic blue words:
What is Your Gender-Personality?

    For a one-page outline of this presentation and discussion,
click these blue words: Designer Marriage.
You will also be able to read all 28 questions
for a comprehensive relationship contract.

    To see the outline of a book on this subject, go to:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/RC.html

    But the sex-script hypothesis
presents a third possible explanation:
Our sexual responses may have been
imprinted into us at an early age.
During certain critical periods in our psycho-sexual development,
particular images, stories, and sexual 'turn-ons'—our "sex-scripts"—
were imprinted in our brains more or less at random.
And these sexual fantasies remain with us for the rest of our lives.

    For a one-page outline
of this new explanation of human sexuality,
click these magic blue words: The Sex-Script Hypothesis.

    For a three-page online article, click these words:
Sources of Sexual Fantasies.

(1) biological sex—female, male, or in between;

(2) sexual self-identification
—girls, boys; women, men; & transsexuals;

(3) sex-roles—everyday behavior assigned on the basis of sex;

(4) gender-personalities—thousands of possible gender-patterns;

(5) sexual orientation—heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual;

(6) transvestism—several different reasons for cross-dressing.

    For a one-page outline of this presentation and discussion,
click these blue words: Variations of Sex & Gender.

    For a bibliography of the best books in this area, go to:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/B-V-SG.html

     Then we will project five possible ways
in which laws might be changed in the 21st century
to enable same-sex couples to have the same rights and privileges
now enjoyed by traditional different-sex married couples.

     The Unitarian Universalist Association
already recognizes same-sex couples.
And many UU ministers conducts commitment or holy union ceremonies
to solemnize these committed relationships.

     The next steps will be achieved thru some combination
of judicial and legislative action by the individual states.
This article will outline five possible ways
the right to marry will be won for same-sex couples:

1. Courts will find laws preventing same-sex marriage unconstitutional.

2. Legislators will repeal state laws
requiring marriage partners to be of different sexes.

3. Legislators will create new state laws
permitting domestic partnership alongside traditional marriage.

4. Legislators will make all laws marriage-blind.

5. Legislators will repeal all marriage laws;
allowing relationships to be private and unregistered.

    For links to various related resources: bibliography, sexology, etc.,
go to the central location for same-sex marriage.

    The Unitarian-Universalist movement has taken strong stands
supporting all sex-and-gender minorities.
And we endorse those theories of sexology
that do not attempt to 'cure' or 'correct' sex-and-gender differences
but which seek first to understand.

I.  THE UU MOVEMENT AND VARIOUS FORMS OF SEXOLOGY

II. SOCIAL IMPLICATIONS OF THE SEX-SCRIPT HYPOTHESIS

III. THE IMPACT OF HAVING A GAY PRESIDENT

IV.  CONCLUSION: UNITARIAN UNIVERSALISM
IS OPEN TO ALL SEX-AND-GENDER MINORITIES

    To read a three-page article on this theme, go to:
Sex-and-Gender Minorities, Sexology,
and the Unitarian Universalist Movement.

  Because patterns of love and marriage are cultural creations,
we should expect them to change from century to century.

    At the beginning of the 21st century,
some trends can be foreseen for the Western world:

1. The mythology of romantic love will continue to hold sway,
at least over the young and inexperienced.

2. More couples will decide to live together
without getting officially or legally married.
They will be free to create their own relationship contracts
---whether explicit or implicit, written or unwritten.

3. Renewable marriages will become more common.
These are relationships agreed to last for a certain duration,
after which they will either expire or be renewed.

4. Same-sex marriages will become more common and less controversial.
Gay and lesbian couples will feel ever more free
to make their relationships open and public.

5. For those people who have transcended the threat of jealousy,
loving more than one person at the same time will become more common.

OUTLINE:

1. ROMANTIC LOVE.

2. MARRIAGE RESISTERS.

3. RENEWABLE MARRIAGE.

4. SAME-SEX MARRIAGE.

5. POLYAMORY.

    To read a three-page article on this subject, go to:
The Future of Love and Marriage.

2. PERSONAL GROWTH & LIFE-CHOICES

    For a one-page outline of this presentation and discussion,
click these blue words: Becoming More Authentic.

    For a three-page online article, click here:
Becoming More Authentic: The Positive Side of Existentialism.

SYNOPSIS:

    When we seek to make our own lives "meaningful",
we may be struggling with two different sorts of meaninglessness.
We can create many forms of relative meanings
within the assumed areas of meaningful life:
money, achievement, love, marriage, children, enjoyment, & religion.
But even when we have fulfilled such meanings,
we may still feel an ultimate hollowness,
a spiritual or existential meaninglessness.
This deeper meaninglessness is not overcome
by any of the relative meanings we are able to create or achieve.
Ultimate meaning comes only as a gift
—independent of whatever relative meanings we can achieve.

OUTLINE:

I. MY EARLY QUEST FOR MEANING
II. NO HELP FROM ACADEMIC PSYCHOLOGY AND PHILOSOPHY
III. RELATIVE MEANINGLESSNESS & EXISTENTIAL MEANINGLESSNESS
IV. THE COLLAPSE OF 'MEANINGS' AND ILLUSIONS
V. BEYOND EXISTENTIAL MEANINGLESSNESS

    This theme was selected by the HMS subscribers to be featured in Spring 2001:
Looking for the Meaning of Life

  What other choice in life has such far-reaching ramifications
as the decision to become a mother or a father?
Only in the 20th century did modern science make it possible
for human beings to gain complete control over their reproductive capacity.

    This discussion will explore about 30 reasons FOR having children
and about 10 reasons AGAINST.
Which of these reasons are alive in your head?

I. COUPLES' REASONS FOR HAVING CHILDREN

A. The Survival of the Human Race

B. Giving Meaning to Our Lives

C. Our Affirmation of Life

D. "We Love Children"

E. "It's Natural to Want Children"

F. To Please Our Parents and Grandparents

G. Religious Reasons

H. Saving the Marriage

A. Fulfillment as a Woman—the Maternal 'Instinct'

B. Enjoying Pregnancy and Child-birth

C. "Without Children You're an Outsider"

D. "I Need a Change"

E. "I Want My Husband to Protect Me"

F. As an Alternative to Sex

G. To Have Someone to Love

A. The "Family Man" Identity

B. Someone to Carry on the Family Name

C. Children as a Sign of Financial Success

D. Children as Proof of Manhood

E. Children to Keep His Wife at Home

F. Having Subordinates

A. Not Everyone Can Be a Good Parent

B. Practical and Marital Problems Caused by Children

C. Keeping Our Options Open

D. Problems of Pregnancy and Child-birth

E. Genetic Defects that Should Not be Passed On

F. Not Wanting Full-Time Responsibility for Children

G. Being Committed to Other Purposes

H. Problems Caused by Overpopulation

I. Problems of the Human Condition

J. Our Existential Predicament

3. RELIGION & SPIRITUALITY

1. HISTORICAL BACKGROUND FOR 21st CENTURY 'MUSLIM' TERRORISM

    'Arab' terrorist groups almost always point to the problem of Palestine
as their main reason for attacking Israel and its supporters in the West.
A fair settlement of this unresolved dispute
would dramatically undercut this 'reason' for terrorism.

2. LONG-TERM SOLUTION: WHEN THERE ARE NO MORE VICTIMS

    Can we prevent the enculturation of new generations of terrorists,
who will grow up to commit acts of terror against their perceived enemies?

3. THEOLOGICAL WARFARE: TERRORISTS GO DIRECTLY TO HELL

    The members of murder-suicide cults need to be convinced
that they do not go immediately to paradise
when they kill themselves in the war against "the enemies of God".

4. PRACTICAL STEPS IN THE HOLY WAR AGAINST TERRORISM

    We must identity individual members of murder-suicide cults
and prevent them from committing further criminal acts.

    To see a three-page article on this subject, go to:
Holy War Against Terrorism.

    In the Judeo-Christian tradition,
the Ten Commandments are often thought
to be the basic moral code.
But most people raised in these traditions
cannot name all 10 Commandments.
And they would have a hard time showing
how their own morality derives from the 10 Commandments.

    Rational ethics does not begin with a set of moral standards.
Rather all facts and opinions
are brought to bear on each moral dilemma.

    The participants in this discussion
will decide which specific moral issues they would like to discuss
under this distinction between rule-morality and rational ethics.

    For a one-page outline of this event,
click these magic blue words: From Rule-Morality to Rational Ethics.

(1) self-transcendence, self-criticism, & altruism;

(2) freedom, transcending our enculturation
and choosing for ourselves;

(3) creativity, our capacity to make something out of nothing;

(4) love, which enables us to encounter others as Thou;

(5) anxiety, disclosing our underlying Existential Predicament;

(6) glimpses of joy and fulfillment, living beyond angst and despair.

    For a one-page outline of this presentation and discussion,
click these blue words: Spirituality for Humanists.

    For a three-page online article, click here:
Spirituality for Humanists: Six Capacities of Our Human Spirits.

    If we want to organize and focus our inner lives,
we need some practical methods of cultivating our deeper dimensions,
so that our inner sensibilities will put down deep roots and flourish
rather than, once sprouted, wither and die away.

    Solitude is the precondition of any life of the spirit.
We should not expect to be busily engaged every moment of the day
and still hope to have some inward depth.

    If we want to become sensitive to our inward spirits,
we must find a time and place
away from the distractions of people and events.

    Besides solitude to recollect ourselves,
we need some actual activities to help us to deepen our lives.

    This discussion describes 5 ways to expand our spirits:
A. Written Meditation—A Journal of Spirit.
B. Spirit-Stimulating Books.
C. Small Groups of People Discussing the Life of the Spirit.
D. Letters about Matters of Spirit.
E. Individual Conversation and Sharing with other Persons of Spirit.

    This article was chosen by the HMS subscribers for Fall 2000:
Ways to Expand Our Spirits

    Are science and religion necessarily at odds?
Does the advance of modern science
cause the retreat of religion?
Is is possible to be a person of spirit
and still believe in the wholly-natural origin of the universe?
Does giving up pre-scientific world-views
necessarily mean giving up all forms of spirituality?

I. WHY IT IS NO LONGER POSSIBLE
---NOW AND IN THE FUTURE---
TO BELIEVE IN ANY CREATOR-GODS.

II. WHAT ARE THE IMPLICATIONS OF
LOSING FAITH IN A CREATOR-GOD?

III. THE WORLD AS DESCRIBED BY FOLK TALES

IV. THE UNIVERSE AS DESCRIBED BY MODERN SCIENCE

V. RELIGIONS FUNDAMENTALLY BASED
IN PRE-SCIENTIFIC WORLD-VIEWS ARE DOOMED.

    A draft of this article or cyber-sermon will be found here:
Which Gods Do Not Exist?  No Gods Created the Universe.

    We will separate the psychological feeling
from our Existential Malaise in five ways:
(1) description, (2) cause, (3) duration, (4) scope, and (5) cure.
Once we have acknowledged our Existential Dilemma,
we can seek ways to be released from it.

    For a one-page outline of this presentation,
click these magic blue words: Our Existential Predicament.

    To see the outline of the book
on which this program is based, go to:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/XP.html

    For a one-page outline of this presentation and discussion,
click these blue words: Loneliness of Spirit.

    For a three-page online article, click here:
Loneliness of Spirit: Deeper than the Reach of Love

    But the other kind of depression
cannot be directly traced to a cause.
We are quietly haunted by a vague sense or dark mood.
Thru the hollow depths of our being sounds a low, moaning tone,
which breaks into consciousness
when our daily preoccupations fall away.
Attempting to understand this deeper depression
will be the main thrust of this presentation and discussion.

    For a one-page outline, click these blue words:
Being Depressed in Spirit.

    For a three-page online article, click these words:
Being Depressed in Spirit: Deeper than Psychological Depression.
 

    Our task will be to isolate and describe "non-moral guilt"
(an expression that may seem self-contradictory at first),
to explore how it interacts
with our everyday experience of conscience,
and to shine a light in the direction of
freedom from this "existential guilt".

    For a one-page outline on this presentation and discussion,
click these blue words: Existential Guilt.

    To see the outline and first page
of a chapter on this theme, go to:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/XP165.html

    For a one-page outline of this presentation and discussion,
click these blue words: Existential Anxiety: Angst.

    For a three-page online article, click these words:
Existential Anxiety: Angst.

(1) the abstract, objective, external, empirical
fact of biological death;

(2) our personal, subjective, emotional fear of ceasing-to-be
—which arises from our awareness of our own finitude; and

(3) our ownmost ontological anxiety
—our Existential Predicament disguised as the fear of ceasing-to-be.
This least understood and most repressed
existential dimension of death
will be the central focus of this phenomenological investigation.

    For a one-page outline of this presentation and discussion,
click these blue words: An Existential Understanding of Death.

    To see the outline, first page, and cover material
for a book of the same title, go to:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/UD.html

    For a one-page outline of this presentation and discussion,
click these blue words: Introducing Existential Spirituality.

    For a comprehensive, annotated bibliography
of books about existential spirituality, go to:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/B-XSP.html

    A one-page outline of this presentation and discussion
will appear if you click these blue words:
Scientific and Philosophical Questions about Life After Death.

4. MEDICAL ETHICS & DEATH

    A 'living will' or Advance Directive for Medical Care is
a legal document setting forth your own personal medical ethics,
stating clearly how you want to be treated at the end of your life.
Especially if you want something other than standard medical care,
you must put your wishes into writing.

    We will discuss 24 questions
for comprehensive Advance Directives.
Some of the themes are: quality of life; pain control;
termination of treatment; right to die; definitions of death;
disposition of remains; philosophical-religious issues.

    For a one-page outline of this presentation,
click these magic blue words: Your 'Living Will'.

    For a comprehensive, annotated bibliography
of books on Advance Directives, go to:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/B-AD.html

(1) the patient himself or herself;

(2) the parents for a newborn or a young child;

(3) the proxies for someone who may have become
incapable of making his or her own decisions.

    Four marks of personhood will be suggested and explored:

(1) consciousness & self-consciousness;

(2) memory;

(3) language;

(4) autonomy.

    For a more complete outline of this presentation and discussion,
click these blue words:
When Is a Person? Pre-Persons & Former Persons.

    To read the book upon which this discussion is based, go to:
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/PERSON.html

1) withdrawing or withholding
medical treatments and life-supports,

(2) voluntary death—chosen rationally by the candidate, or

(3) merciful death—chosen rationally by proxies for the candidate.

    However, each of these life-ending decisions is open to abuse:

(1) premature withdrawal of life-supports,

(2) irrational suicide and manipulated or coerced death, or

(3) mercy killing.

    This discussion will propose ten practical safeguards
to prevent abuse of the right to die
while permitting appropriate and reasonable decisions for death.
Basically the safeguards gather the considered opinions of
the candidate, the doctors, the family,
and any ethical consultants who may be involved,
perhaps including members of the clergy.
Also there should be appropriate waiting periods,
full reporting, and the possibility of prosecution
for those who violate the safeguards.

    If you would like to see exactly
what these proposed safeguards are,
click these blue words: Ten Safeguards for Life-Ending Decisions.
You will also find a more extensive explanation
of this presentation and discussion.

    To arrange any of the above presentations and discussions,
send an e-mail message to James Park:

PARKx032@TC.UMN.EDU

    Also write to him if you need more resources
for creating a program similar to one of the above
on another campus.