WTF Christmas Ornaments

There's a disturbingly large number of Christmas ornaments that have to do with butts. Something about the spirit of the season makes people want to think about spelunking in the brown cavern. This horrifyingly cheerful depiction of Santa Claus getting his socket enlarged by an elf with a candy cane is so disturbing that I can't think about it any longer. Truly, a WTF Christmas ornament.

Some ornaments don't have anything to do with Christmas at all, as far as I can tell. The even weirder thing about this "Bling Mermaid," as the website calls him, is that he's just one of many gay mermaid ornaments, including one that looks like a dude from the Village People. If this is hanging from your tree, you're probably going to get some really weird stuff in your stocking.

When people complain that Christmas has moved too far from the celebration of the birth of the baby Jesus, they're probably not thinking about a glitter poop ornament. Like many of the WTF Christmas ornaments, I can't see a reason why anybody would want to hang this on their tree. It's basically like saying "I'm a piece of human garbage, Santa."

If you're as much of a lover of the female body as I am, you'll want to hang a couple dozen of these round titties on your Christmas tree. I'm pretty sure these are just regular ball ornaments that have had creepy nipples glued to them, but hey - whatever works. Again, if you were to ask me to list things that the holiday season is about, big ol' hooters would be pretty low on that list.