WWE Raw Nov. 7, 2011 - The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

I've always known that John Cena had a PhD in Thuganomics, but tonight we were "treated" to his skill with Ebonics. When confronted by the Miz and R-Truth, Cena busted out a Stepin-Fetchit-esque Truth imitation that sounded like something out of Bamboozled. Unfortunately, the fact that it was kind of super accurate and was performed in front of a predominantly white Liverpudlian crowd just made it more awful.

My favorite part of this week's episode of Raw has to be Dolph Ziggler's match against John Morrison. I told you last week about how nuts I am for Ziggler, and Morrison is the perfect opponent for him. The two have a similar body size and type - each one strong enough to pull off impressive moves, and light enough to go along with the moves of the other. Just as exciting as watching the two of them work together, however, was the fact that they both came out looking good.

Even though Ziggler lost the match, he still looked great, thanks in large part to the fact that he's one of the few wrestlers who actually acts in the ring - talking, yelling, making references to past storylines and generally behaving like he actually cares about his craft. The match was so good, in fact, that we were even able to tune out most of Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler's off-topic rambling, which included Liverpudlian cuisine and god knows what else.

Wrestling matches need to be about something beyond just guys fighting. That's something we can all agree on, right? Then why the balls does WWE think anyone is interested in plunking down cash money to see not just a regular contest, but a five-on-five elimination style match, which best we can tell, is about absolutely nothing?

Mirroring how little thought and planning went into actually booking the match, WWE's announcement of what is currently the only Survivor Series match on the Survivor Series card was little more than an afterthought on tonight's broadcast. By definition, a Survivor Series match doesn't end without at least five wrestlers getting pinned, making it a rather "expensive" contest in terms of resources and heat, which makes WWE setting the match without any real stakes or "personal issues" beyond Faces vs. Heels all the more confounding.

I want to like Mason Ryan, largely because (as everyone on the Internet has already noted) he looks like Batista, and Batista's last heel run with WWE was absolutely phenomenal. That said, beyond Vince McMahon's rumored obsession with absolutely freakishly muscular physiques, I can't imagine why anyone would think that Ryan needs a heel push. The guy looks like a legit monster, with musculature that makes me want to curl up in a ball and just weep.

Furthermore, what's to be gained from having Ryan steamroll over JTG? The guy's barely seen outside of Superstars and NXT, so it's not like a win over JTG really means anything. And if for some reason you were under the impression that JTG might be a formidable competitor, that notion would be quickly dispelled while watching what amounts to a complete squash. In order for a win to actually mean something, the loser has to look like he's worth a goddamn, otherwise you're just killing airtime.