WWE Monday Night Raw 1/30/2012 - The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

Whenever WWE takes a good 20 minutes (i.e., 1/6 of the running time of Monday Night Raw, which is still, to my knowledge, ostensibly a wrestling show) to show some actual dudes actually fake fighting one another, it's tempting to start bitching and moaning. But, when you're watching two of your favorite wrestlers AND Johnny Ace jawing at one another, it all seems just fine.

Though he hasn't been given enough to do lately, with his Laurinaitis storyline moving in fits and starts, CM Punk remains one of WWE's most interesting talents. Meanwhile, Daniel Bryan is over proving himself on SmackDown with the most well-developed, fully-rounded character in all of wrestling. Seeing these guys interact at the top of Raw, as WWE and World Heavyweight Champions even, was a treat, made even better by Laurinaitis' stammering, flub-heavy, ridiculous promo "skills". It was obvious that Punk and Bryan were having a good time, and if Jackass has taught us anything, it's that watching two fun guys have a good time is kind of the best thing in the world.

But right after WWE, still somewhat surprisingly, treated Punk and Bryan like the main event level talent that they are, the promotion set right out to stomp all over any kind of legitimacy Dolph Ziggler has built up over recent months. Even without any real clean wins to speak of, Ziggler has become a real credible threat in WWE, due in large part to the actual quality of his matches and his getting-better-every-week-and-can-go-toe-to-toe-with-Mick-Foley microphone skills. So, it's super-frustrating that he had to lay down for Randy Orton.

Making things even worse is the fact that one night earlier, Ziggler was pinned for three-counts numerous times during his match with Punk. The first three weren't effective at ending the match, but they did an absolutely phenomenal job of making Ziggler look like an absolute loser. I'm not saying that he should have gone over on Orton, and in fact, WWE was right to have the returning Viper beat him, but it's crazy that someone made this match in the first place. Makes me wonder if Ziggler, who really appeared to be on the cusp of a legit main event push, did something to piss someone off backstage. Is this malice at work, or just simple incompetence?

During a throwaway backstage segment, seemingly designed for no other purpose than to prevent more actual wrestling making it onto Monday Night Raw, John Laurinaitis approached William Regal and asked the distinguished grappler about his family life. I had to rewind my television to make sure I heard Regal's response correctly, and was delighted to find out that I had. Apparently, Regal not only has two conjoined twin daughters, but he also keeps them in the attic. I don't know what would be more frustrating: If WWE completely ignored this delicious bit of absurdity or turned it into an awful running gag.

First, I'm embarrassed on Jerry Lawler's behalf that he was so asleep at the wheel during the Brodus Clay vs. Tyler Reks match that he didn't make a single "Funkasaurus vs. T-Reks" joke. The man's only job is to make bad groan-worthy puns and publicly lust after women young enough to be dateraped by his grandson, and he absolutely blew it this week. HIS ONLY JOB.

As for the actual match, I'm still kind of fully onboard with Clay's Funkasaurus gimmick, and also still kind of fully amazed that's the case. That said, I'm getting hell of tired of watching him beat up the best WWE Superstars has to offer. I had hoped that the Rumble would be an easy way to seed a legit storyline involving Clay, but the fact that WWE didn't bother has me even more worried about Santino/Clay comedy tag team that you just know will happen sooner or later.

UPDATED 1/31/12: Our lovely, über-attentive readers have pointed out in the comments that Jerry Lawler did indeed make a dinosaur joke during last night's broadcast. They don't call him "The King" for nothing apparently. Unfortunately, I was too busy getting laid to hear the joke, and I refuse on principle alone to back down from a gag about a Hall of Famer's grandson's possible dateraping Divas. Deal with it, America.