The Latest Doctor Who Leaves Us "Cold"

Poor, poor Rory. We’ll get the major spoiler out the way right up front: Rory, the sad sack fiancée of the Doctor’s companion, Amy Pond, is no more. And when we say “no more,” we mean literally sucked into a crack in time-space. Other than the Doctor, no one even ever knows he existed, including Amy herself.

...And other than that, this was a pretty weak episode of Who. I have to admit, I was a little perplexed about why people were so gaga for this two-parter, reintroducing the Silurians (underground lizard people who predate humans) – and as far as I can tell, it’s that it channels the nostalgia of old-school Who. Not to be a total douche about this, but I thought the whole point of nu-Who was that it was better in every way than old-Who – from production, to acting, to writing. So why go back to cheesy sets, plots that were old when Star Trek was on TV, and a radically shifting tone and focus?

...And it turns out, at least as far as I can tell, this is because the episode was written by old-school Who fan and Torchwood writer Chris Chibnall. Far be it from me to accuse Torchwood of having a consistent tone (it didn’t), but let’s keep that away from Who, okay? Especially in the brave new Moffat era. To wit:

We started off with a far-too-rushed narration about how the Doctor saved the Earth by bringing two races together, then had an insanely overblown score all episode and the last ten minutes or so were devoted to a shoved in overarching destruction of time-space arc, and the death of a major character, that had literally nothing to do with the previous two hours.

Let me reiterate: the climax of two hours of television was actually a plot beat from several other hours of television. That’s sloppy, at best.

It’s also frustrating because, in general, I like that the big mystery of the season is being worked into every episode, but unlike in, say, “Flesh and Stone” where the crack in time was part of the solution to the problem, here it’s just something else that happens – and something that distracts from the matter at hand. However clunky and boring the Silurian storyline was, that’s no excuse for bad writing.

So anyway, poor Rory. You may not have been the best or most engaging character, but neither did you deserve such an inglorious send-off. Here’s to you – at least until we see you return, Deus Ex Machina style, at the end of the season.

Random Notes:

• Literally every single time I wrote down the name of this episode, I typed out “The Cold Ones.” Clearly, I needed a beer.
• Karen Gillan had some great line readings this episode. My favorite? “Don’t try anything clever... Buster.”
• Second favorite, responding to Rory’s “Amy! I thought I’d lost you!” with “What, because I was sucked into the ground? You’re so clingy.”
• “Come on. Be extraordinary.”
• It was surprising to see so many costumed characters – I really hope they didn’t blow out their budget on this episode. Because, you know – boring.