Vitals
- Products: Spartacus: Gods of the Arena
- Genres: Drama
- Cast Members: Andy Whitfield, John Hannah, Lucy Lawless, Manu Bennett, Peter Mensah
- Air Date: January 22, 2010
- Associated Luminaries: Sam Raimi
- Notable Characters: Spartacus
- Network: Starz
People say funny things on TV all the time. What if we took that stuff completely out of context and slapped it on a t-shirt? That’s a multi-millionaire dollar industry right there. We’d be Shamow and Snuggie-rich! So, let’s fire up the ole’ silkscreen machine in the basement we used to print our crappy band’s t-shirts with and make something worth wearing!
We're only two episodes in to Spartacus: Blood and Sand and we've already been treated to slave orgies, beheadings and a pickle shot or two. And Battiatus, Domina and their herd of gladiators don't just walk the walk, they talk the talk! These Romans sure have a funny way of turning a phrase. Here's a smattering of some of the more remarkable utterances we've heard on Spartacus: Blood and Sand we'd pay much coin to see the dude working the register at our local comic shop wearing on an XXL t-shirt.
"I'm a Gaul, little man!"
And you'd have to have some to be wearing this T-shirt! The shorter you are the better this shirt will look on you. But for the record, I'm from Yonkers, we've got no beef with Gaul. But I heard some Roman dude talking mad smack about Gauls smelling like a Thracian's armpit. You might want to look into that. And speaking of Thracians...
"Thracians, always on their backs with their legs in the air!"
You say that like it's a bad thing, Crixus. What I love about this t-shirt is that someone is guaranteed to get offended by it even though they'll probably have absolutely no idea what it's about.
"Do you shoot magic coins out of your a**?"
Battiatus asks Spartacus if he can perform this feat. Sadly, David Copperfield has yet to come to Capua and provide training in the anal magical arts. But we bet Criss Angel can pull this off.
"Does it excite you to know that the sound of your footsteps moistens my thigh?"
Wear this shirt and guarantee that any one who reads it will never get within fifty-feet of you again.
For further inspiration, check out Spartacus: Blood and Sand on Starz, Fridays at 10pm.
