CBS made its fall schedule official yesterday. Here's a look at what's new, when you can see it, and what will be moving to ABC -- I mean, what's "cancelled:"
Cancelled: quite a few, and some of them were surprises. Accidentally on Purpose, Cold Case, Gary Unmarried, Ghost Whisperer, Miami Medical, The New Adventures of Old Christine, Numb3rs, and Three Rivers. ABC is reportedly circling Ghost and Christine, though, so those shows may well find a new home there.
New for Fall:
- Mike & Molly: it's a sitcom about two fat people who meet at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and begin to date. While being fat. And they eat a lot. Mike's last name is Biggs. This is especially funny what with him being fat and all. And that appears to be it. It's from the same awesome talents that gave us Two and a Half Men, and it'll follow that show Mondays at 9:30.
- Hawaii Five-O: a remake of the classic show that ran for thirteen seasons. This will be lucky to make it to thirteen episodes. I'm sorry, but if you're going to remake a show down to copying the theme song, you need to go all the way and make sure that whoever plays Steve McGarrett is humorless, stiff, and has AMAZING hair. Oh, and whoever plays "Kono," a part originally played by a large man who went only by "Zulu," should at least be male. Instead, we have the decidely female Grace Park playing Kono and the decidely boring hitless wonder Alex O'Loughlin playing McGarrett. WHY does CBS love this guy so much that they give him a lead role in every new series? WHY won't he grow his hair out so it will be magnificent like the original McGarrett, Jack Lord's, was? And WHY are the opening credits, which you can check out below, so terrible? Do you know how hard it is to make that awesome song and those beautiful shots of Hawaii so cheesy and lame? Of all the things I thought this show would get wrong, the theme song was the one thing I thought they'd be able to nail. Guess not! Mondays at 10.
- The Defenders: someone thought it was a good idea to give Jerry O'Connell and Jim Belushi a TV show. They play Las Vegas defense attorneys. Wednesdays at 10.
- $#*! My Dad Says: it's spelled "$#*!" but it's supposed to be pronounced "bleep." I will pronounce it "money pound asterisk exclamation point." I also used to pronounce Numb3rs "numbthreers." I will watch because it is Shatner, but I personally think it's a terrible idea to take something that's funny in 140 characters or less and expand it out to half an hour. And put it on CBS, where the swear word that IS IN THE SHOW'S TITLE can't actually be said. Look for it Thursdays at 8:30.
- Blue Bloods: Tom Sellack says in the behind the scenes featurette of the show that he's excited about it because it has "plots." Those are important! Sellack plays the father in a family of cops (except for his daughter, who is a lawyer and thus the black sheep). Sellack is the current chief of police. His father used to be the chief. His sons are a detective and a rookie. It comes to us from two writers from The Sopranos, but CBS can't have much faith in it if they're sticking it in the Fridays at 10 pm slot.
New for Midseason: CBS only has one confirmed show on tap for the midseason: the Criminal Minds spin-off starring Forest Whitaker, who apparently can't get anything better despite being a freaking Oscar winner.
To check out previews of CBS's new fall shows, head over to their website. Does the new Hawaii Five-O actually look good? How excited are you to get your weekly Shatner fix again? Let us know what you think in the comments!
