Sons of Anarchy Gentleman's Guide

At times, you're going to find yourself in situations where the club is going to need to reach out to an outsider for assistance. Say for example you've got a body you need to get rid of quickly and you don't have the resources or manpower. What do you do? In this instance, it is recommended that you call Bachman. If the deceased is a woman, he's going to feel up her chest. But don't fret- he's just checking for implants, which will need to be removed for him to get the job done in a more efficient manner. At least that's what he's been telling us.

A man is not created in a vacuum. It takes generations upon generations of boot knocking, consensual and non-consensual forms alike to produce that guy who stink-eyed you during the bike rally in the Hooters parking lot. And yes, you too. Show your respect for your heritage by paying a visit to the branches of the family tree. If you find that there's nothing but nuts, then figure out where they stash their weapons, cash, and women and pillage those good-for-nothing bastards. This especially holds true if the leader they're backstabbing you for happens to be Titus Welliver.

A true man of gentle persuasion is aware of the importance of his appearance. To act the part you must also look it, especially when dealing in a business where the right amount of rugged detail in your appearance can seal a deal; complimenting your bone structure as well as your role in the club with the proper haircut and facial hair is a must. Helmet hair is no excuse. Don't own a comb? Hold up that hand of yours and spread your fingers. Boom. Brush that through your pretty locks.

Telling a fellow member you love them won't result in a bashing, as long as you don't mean it in a hey-I-would-like-to-sit-on-you-lap-and-talk-about-the-first-thing-that-pops-up sort of way. If you have fondness for your brother, tell him, as life is short and what if something horrible happens like a drive-by or a sudden bout of spontaneous combustion? Then you'll be kicking yourself in the boots wishing you would have said something. So take the time, typically after a life-perspective-altering event and express your feelings. And don't worry about the other guys who are staring. They won't say anything if you're genuine in your expression. Not to your face, anyway.