Action
Best Movie Ever: Immortals
Immortals? The best movie ever? It's more likely than you think. Before you scoff, let's illuminate eleven reasons why Tarsem Singh's mythological epic owns.
by
K. Thor Jensen
February 28, 2012
Gods. Titans. And the mortals caught between the two. Tarsem Singh's Immortals is a visually stunning action film with a great cast and some incredible battle sequences. But is that enough to make it the Best Movie Ever? Here at UGO, we're firm believers in giving each and every movie a chance at the top of the heap, so let's run through the high points of this flick. It sounds dangerous? What do you want to do, live forever?
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It doesn't take long, obviously, for the Gods to decide that Zeus is full of it and they need to go down and get their hands dirty. When the Gods see Theseus being overwhelmed by Hyperion's navy, Poseidon decides to bail out and do what he does best. As he plummets from Mount Olympus, the lord of the ocean picks up tremendous speed, hitting the water with a massive explosion and demolishing the entire fleet. It's an impressive illustration of the scale of the conflict, and kicks off the movie's second act in style.
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The thing about Immortals is that the villains are just so much more interesting than the heroes. Case in point: the Beast, played by Robert Maillet (aka the professional wrestler formerly known as Kurrgan). Clad in a metal bull's-head mask, this guy makes every scene he's in awesome. When he faces Theseus for the Epirus Bow, it's one of the best fights in the whole movie. Of course, the hero comes out ahead, but he's grievously wounded and eventually loses the bow anyways.
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You need to listen to Zeus when he talks, guys. After Theseus gets himself in yet another jam, Ares, the God of War, disobeys Zeus's command to stay out of the fight and intercedes on our hero's behalf. This is a good thing! But in making the presence of the Gods visible on Earth and tipping Hyperion off to their location, Ares almost screwed up the whole plan. That's why Zeus, upon finding out, is forced to tearfully punish his immortal cohort with death. You heard me. It's a pretty awesome scene.
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Of course, Hyperion succeeds in his mission and uses the Epirus Bow to shatter Mount Tartarus, freeing the horde of Titans within. In contrast to the shining, beautiful Gods, the Titans are horrific, grubby creatures that embody death and destruction. They proceed to sweep across the land like a tidal wave of pain, killing everything in their path. It took a long time to get a glimpse of these dudes, but it was all worth it, and leads into the next item on this list, where all Hell breaks loose.
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And so it all comes to this - the Titans are free, humanity is doomed. It's finally time for the Gods to get off of their lazy asses and deal with their mess. Zeus and his homies come down from Mount Olympus to engage their foes, but even with their greater power the sheer number of Titans beats them down. Heracles dies! Apollo dies! Athena dies! It's a huge freaking mess. Meanwhile, Theseus is battling Hyperion one-on-one, and when he kills him Zeus destroys Mount Tartarus, killing everything below it. A tragedy wrapped in a triumph, this one is.
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