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By Casey Seijas December 23, 2011 |
Let's face it: traveling to see your family during the holidays is a drag. The thing is, it's almost impossible to cancel plans without coming off like an ungrateful, antisocial jerk.
To help you with this difficult dilemma, we've compiled a trusty list of the best ways to dodge your family over Christmas. Read on, fellow misanthropes!
| 11 | Take a Vacation |
Look, if you're over 18 years of age, by law you are legally a grown ass man/woman—act like it by putting your damn foot down! If you don't want to go home for Christmas, plan a vacation somewhere you actually do want to go. Sure, you'll have to deal with a solid year's worth of guilt from your mom in 2012, but try not to think about that while you're roasting on a beach somewhere working on your third frozen strawberry daiquiri.
| 10 | Blame the Economy |
Times are tough all over—even if you are gainfully employed and have more than enough in the bank to pay for overpriced airline tickets. But hey, no one really needs to know that! A few well-placed "Oh, we didn't get bonuses this year" or "they didn't give out raises" sob stories can hopefully put to bed any pressure from your folks to visit for the holidays.
| 9 | Plan VERY Late |
As everyone knows, the longer you wait to book plane tickets, the more expensive they get, so why not use this knowledge to your advantage? Put off booking tickets as long as possible—up until your parents start playing the role of bill collectors and calling you every hour on the hour if possible asking if you've made airline reservations—then when you're a week out from having to head home for Christmas and the only available tickets are for flight getting in at 3 am at an airport five hours from your parent's home with an asking price of $8,000 for coach seats, no one can blame you for not being able to afford the trip! Sure, your folks will think you're a total stoner, but hey, them's the breaks!
| 8 | Visit Your Cooler Relatives |
We all have that set of "cool" relatives who have long established that Christmas is nonsense and would rather spend the time getting blotto with their cool friends. Since the rest of your family probably looks at them like they're from different planets anyway, why not play the role of Goodwill Ambassador by visiting them for the holidays, saying you'll hype up Christmas with the rest of the family, but in actuality having a way more awesome Christmas going to concerts, art museums and partying.
| 7 | 'Lose' your Phone |
No, we're not saying to go to the nearest bridge and chuck your phone in the river (unless you have a really crappy phone and want a new one for Christmas), instead, "lose" your cell phone for a few weeks leading up to your trip, keeping in touch with your parents only via email with updates about how "all the good phones are sold out because of holiday shopping" and "how you're doing your best to get a new phone, but in the meantime, you'll just have to deal with sporadic email updates." Sure, it may not totally get you out of the visit, but it's worth a shot to try and avoid the planning process altogether.
