Steve Jobs' Greatest Moments

Did you know that the corporate overlord was once a total hippie? It's true. During his wayward youth, the college dropout walked seven miles to the Hare Krishna temple for Sunday night meals.

Steve Jobs worked as a technician for video game company Atari, primarily to be able to afford a spiritual trip to India. When he and Steve Wozniak were able to meet the deadline for Breakout on time, the company gave them a $5,000 bonus to split. Jobs hid this information from Wozniak, giving the Woz only $375 and keeping the rest of the money for himself. Did Hare Krishna teach him nothing?

Yep, Jobs admits to having done LSD. Not only does he admit it, he's totally proud of it. In fact, he has called doing LSD "one of the two or three most important things [he had] done in [his] life." Know what that sounds like? The words of someone who has done too much LSD.

Disclaimer: though this is listed as one of Jobs' greatest moments, we don't advocate doing it. Consider "greatest moments" another way of saying "most interesting," which can mean "oh, interesting!" or "uh, interesting..."

Before Steve Jobs married his current wife Laurene, he had a daughter with painter ChrisAnn Brennan. At first, though, he denied she was his daughter by claiming he was sterile. Because he wouldn't accept his paternity, ChrisAnn raised her daughter alone and on welfare.

Steve Jobs once dated folk heroine Joan Baez, reportedly because she had once been the lover of Bob Dylan. That's pretty much expressing a less-than-subliminal desire to touching penises with the dude. Just sayin'.

Obviously, founding Apple was a pretty big deal for Steve. He did so in 1976 with Steve Wozniak and Ronald Wayne, though no one remembers Ronald Wayne. The Apple I, their very first computer, was hand-built by Wozniak. If you have one of these in your basement, you are sitting on a serious goldmine. Originally, the computer sold for the very evil price of $666.66.

Apple premiered their famous Orwellian "1984" commercial to much acclaim. Interestingly enough, it seems the tides have completely turned, and the former Big Brother opponent now reportedly tracks everywhere you take your iPhone.

Steve Jobs bought Pixar (then called the Graphics Group) from LucasFilm for $10 million, an absolute steal for the company who would go on to make Cars 2 and Toy Story 3. In 2006, Jobs sold the company to Disney for $7.4 billion. In case math isn't your strong suit, I'll perform the calculations for you: that's a pants-load of cash that would make Rick Ross fill his husky drawers in a jealous rage.

Steve Jobs released the iPod shortly after 9/11. The chunky box wasn't the first MP3 player on the market, but it was the first one everyone wanted to own. If it weren't for the iPod, it is quite likely we would still be listening to mini-discs. Poor mini-discs.

Somewhere along the line, Jobs completely abandoned his whole Buddhist thing and became a wild egomaniac rich with power and powerful with riches. He parks his Mercedes in handicap spots at Apple, and doesn't even bother to put license plates on the thing. With the fine for not displaying a plate being only $250 in California, he can definitely afford it. A former colleague said that Jobs would've made an excellent king of France, and we believe it.