Save Your Pretend Disgust: IHOP At Home Frozen Foods Are Go

Spent much time in the frozen foods aisle lately? Of course you have! Don't feel bad: I was there, too (that hottie checking out those frozen Marie Callendar's coconut cream pies for a party....a party of one).

If you didn't look carefully between the Eggo waffles and Hot Pockets breakfast pockets, you might have missed the greatest addition to the convenient foods family since the Popsicle. Yes, IHOP, the International House of Pancakes, has invaded your grocery store and wants to come home with you and eventually nestle in your colon.

IHOP At Home consists of stuffed french toast, sausage hunks wrapped in pancakes, and omelette-ish delights. The french toast comes in a variety of flavors (strawberry cream cheese, sweet cream cheese, cinnamon apple, and strawberry) and the omelette crispers come in three (egg and cheese, bacon and cheese, and sausage and cheese). Griddle n' Sausage Wrap fans, your flavor is limited to "maple-tinged." I am not even ashamed to tell you I wrote this entirely from memory.

Naturally, you can only get these at Wal-Mart. If you're curious as to whether or not your local Supercenter stocks them, use this handy locator on the IHOP At Home official site. They'll be in 3000 stores by Memorial Day, so no excuses!

I even bought some of the Egg and Cheese Omelette Crispers and Cinnamon Apple Stuffed French Toast to try for you (or so goes my rationalization), and they're about as expected. The omelette crisper is kind of a mushy egg and cheese goo on the inside of a poor man's McDonald's hash brown that falls apart really easily and is surprisingly sweet, in an unwanted way. The stuffed french toast pockets do not come individually wrapped (boo!) and kind of taste like salty plain donuts with a tablespoon of pie filling in the middle. Both of these products are remarkably greasy, like surprisingly so. How do you get so much grease on the outside of a frozen pastry? Bring a napkin or a pair of pajama pants to wipe your hands on.