Just because Corey Haim is dead doesn’t mean that we can ignore the vast empire of barely-mediocre films he left behind. In fact, if I re-titled this column "Cory Haim, HUH?" I could probably ride high for a few months (no pun intended) before even getting to Dream A Little Dream 2.
Blown Away (1992) stars Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, and Nicole Eggert, three signs that your movie will only get a theatrical release in South Korea. None of them are likeable. The Coreys are college kids who work at a ski resort. Obviously filmed on the off-season, the ski resort consists of nice, lush green grass with patches of snow added by CGI. I wish I was kidding. The Coreys get mixed up with super skinny 17-year-old Eggert who wants them to kill her father. I’ll let you guess the ending, since I didn’t really understand it myself (I think everybody double-crossed everybody else at least once, sometimes twice. I’m not 100% sure though).
In reality, Blown Away is really just an excuse for Haim and Feldman (but mostly Haim) to have entirely-too-long and entirely-too-graphic sex scenes with Eggert. By the end of the film, Eggert has so much Haim DNA in her that he could try to sell her on eBay (like he did with his teeth and hair. Yes, Corey Haim tried selling his teeth and hair on eBay). I’m sure in an alternate universe, where Corey Haim has just won his ninth Oscar, this movie is a prized bit of cinema, but in our world it’s complete and utter garbage.
