Movies Ruined By Not Being Rated R

When a franchise's most recognizable calling card is an expletive, it seems obvious that a PG-13 rating would be off the table. And yet they went for one anyway with Live Free or Die Hard, the fourth film in the previously R-rated and awesome Die Hard franchise.

Along with watering down the violence and language usually associated with Die Hard, producers also watered down John McClane himself, turning him from an alcoholic everyman into a clean and sober superhuman, which is hardly compelling at all. Aspects of the film are okay, but very little of it is Die Hard. They tried to appease fans by releasing an unrated DVD, but it was too little, too late.

Alien is an R-rated franchise. Predator is an R-rated franchise. Put them together and you should at least have something equally innappropriate for children. Instead, Alien Vs. Predator tried to please everyone and pleased no one in the process, save those unlucky souls who saw the film with no previous knowledge of what an Alien or a Predator was. With Paul W.S. Anderson in charge, it was probably never going to be a great movie, but it at least should have been a bloody one. The theatrical cut of this film doesn't even have a good chestburster scene.

The Road Warrior stands as one of the greatest action films of all time. Its famous vehicular battles are fast and brutal, and its hero is kind of a jerk. Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, however, is an awesome sequel which suddenly turns into a stupid kid's film halfway through.

You know you're in the PG-13 zone when Max befriends a bunch of orphaned children looking for someone to lead them to whatever happiness awaits kids in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Instead of bouncing back with a great finale, Beyond Thunderdome sticks to its wimpy aesthetic with a car chase that is over before you know it. The whole thing ends with the villain walking away smiling. Not the most satisfying comeuppance, even if she is Tina Turner. 

Being that Hancock is a superhero film staring Will Smith, it's perhaps a bit unfair to expect it to be a mature, R-rated masterpiece. Watching it, however, the film keeps flirting with a hard-edged streak that doesn't quite gel with its PG-13 rating. Even the film's title is both innocent and kind of dirty (as was it's working title, Tonight He Comes). Add to that a deleted scene where Hancock has an orgasm that literally shoots holes in the roof of his trailer home, and you get the idea that this film really wants to be R-rated but can't quite commit, leaving us with something less than what it should have been.