Avoid Watching A Chick Flick

We're not trying to propagate any gender stereotypes here, but let's be honest with each other. Your girlfriend probably can't hook up the DVD player. If you're anything like us, your home entertainment system is a mass of wires and cables that run to your TV, stereo, Xbox 360, PS3, cable box, DVR, et cetera. And nothing is labeled. So all you have to do if chick flick night is on the horizon is go in there, swap a couple wires and then act all befuddled when things aren't working. If she demands you repair it, just pull out a random cable, claim it's "burnt out" and go on Amazon to "order a new one." That's just one way to avoid watching a chick flick.

A recent study by Heriot Watt University in Edinbrough indicates that women who watch romantic comedies and other chick flicks are more likely to have unrealistic attitudes about love and romance and more likely to get depressed when real life isn't like the movies. Although most women have a deep-seated fear of science, you can use this to your advantage. Claim that you're just trying to look out for her best interests because you care so deeply for her, and then show her another study that demonstrates that watching horror movies together can strengthen the relationship.

This one requires some deep pockets, but if you're dead-set on trying to avoid watching a chick flick in the theater, it's the only way to go. Get the details ahead of time, and then call the theater. Explain that you are planning a special romantic evening with your girl and you want to buy all of the unsold tickets for that screening. They'll be happy to sell them to you - it's less work for them. Explain that it's fine if other people have bought tickets, you just want as many empty seats as possible. Once you've shelled out the cash, show up to the theater, note the huge SOLD OUT sign on the screening, and gently steer your girl to something else.

This isn't one you'll want to pull all that often, but it can be a really useful emergency move. First off, give your girlfriend's phone number to one of your close friends. Second, before the movie starts, make sure your girl sees you turning your phone off - so you can concentrate, obviously. Third, have your friend call your girlfriend's phone crying. All he has to do is moan that he's going through some really tough times right now and he's been trying to call you but your phone is dead. This extra little bit of realism will make it easy to convince her that you have to go over there and help him talk it out. She'll never need to know you do your best counseling at the strip club.