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Skyrim Diseases

Did that last Dragon battle feel a little tougher than usual? Did that Sabrecat get one too many bites in before you took it down? Maybe that's because the last Skeever that got a bite in gave you a nasty case of Ataxia. Study the Skyrim diseases before it's too late!

UGO By Sal Basile January 11, 2012
  

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim isn't just about getting into shouting arguments with Dragons. There are much deadlier things to worry about, and I'm not talking about Skyrim's scumbag Jarl. It really doesn't matter if you know of Skyrim's best companions or Skyrim's best marriages, because if you contract a case of Brain Rot you're as good as dead. That is, until you use a Cure Disease potion before it gets out of hand. Skyrim is a beautiful place, as our Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim review will tell you. It'd be a shame if a little case of Sanguinare Vampiris turned you into Robert Pattinson before you could enjoy it.

Shield yourself from Skyrimually transmitted diseases with my handy Skyrim Diseases guide. That way, when you feel the itch of the Rattles down below, you can treat it before your Axe of Whiterun falls off.

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Skyrim Diseases
Skyrim Diseases Credit: Bethesda
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Brain Rot

Contracted From: Hagravens

Effects: Overall Magic is decreased by 25 points

I'm unaware how you can repair even a second of damage of Brain Rot. Your brain is literally rotting. Isn't that kind of shit permanent? I don't think drinking a protein shake is going to fix that. Regardless, I dare not question it, lest I be the first case where the rotting of my brain is unrepairable. This Skyrim disease will decrease your magic by 25 points, a terrible thing to imagine for mages. Worse yet, you contract this disease from the horribly disfigured Hagravens.

Half hag, half raven, these disgusting creatures are constantly looking for something to love, but I rather have my brain fall out thank you very much.

Skyrim Diseases
Skyrim Diseases Credit: Bethesda
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Sanguinare Vampiris

Contracted From: Vampires

Effects: Overall Health is decreased by 25 point

Before you get excited, no this is not fun. You do not sparkle in sunlight, you burn. You burn because you are an abomination. You do not get stuck in a perpetual state of good looks, you become pale and hideous. Finally, you do not live among society in secret, you are hunted for being a blood-sucking freak. This isn't so much a Skyrim disease as it is a Skyrim curse.

If you're a real fan of vampires, you might say, "but Sal, that is exactly what I want," to which I would reply, "good for you, I didn't ask." Unfortunately, if you are a fan of Edward Pattinson's Jersey Shore lips, these truths about vampires might ruin your day. You, however, deserve to have your day ruined.

You can rid yourself of this curse by completing "Rising at Dawn," which cures the disease completely, or contracting Lycanthropy, which comes with its own set of problems.

Skyrim Diseases
Skyrim Diseases Credit: Bethesda
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Lycanthropy

Contracted From: Complete the Companions questline

Effects: Transform into a werewolf

Contrary to what Underworld: Awakening will have you believe, Lycanthropy actually cures Vampirism. Unfortunately, it brings along with it a whole bunch of new problems. If we could all hold onto our good looks like Kate Beckinsale, it wouldn't be so bad. Once combing my ear hair became part of my daily routine, however, I knew this would not be the case.

People are constantly telling me I smell like wet dog, I have the sudden urge to hump everything and I am compelled to sniff butts now. I can't get enough of them; butts are great. What?

Curing Lycanthropy is a huge ordeal, but it is possible. Just complete the "Purity" quest and you'll be back to your bland, boring self in no time.

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