SYNOPSIS OF CHAPTER 5

Loving without Jealousy

As We Become More Authentic, Jealousy Disappears

    One of the standard assumptions of the old way of loving
is that love always includes an element of jealousy.
In fact, some people go so far as to say
that jealousy proves love.

    This chapter challenges this assumption
by exploring as fully as possible
just what the experience of jealousy is and how it arises.

    Jealousy is certainly a powerful emotion,
but it was nevertheless learned from the surrounding culture.
We learn how to place ourselves in competition with others.
We learn how to compare ourselves with our rivals.
And we learn how to fear that we might be replaced.

    The key to loving without jealousy is becoming more Authentic.
As we become more whole within ourselves,
we stop competing with others.
We want to be appreciated and loved
for the unique persons we are becoming,
rather than for any comparable qualities we might share with others.
And when we are loved in our uniqueness,
then we can never be replaced by any other person.

HOW READING
"Loving without Jealousy:
As We Become More Authentic, Jealousy Disappears"
MIGHT CHANGE YOUR LOVE-LIFE

    If you have been 'loving' according to the old ways,
you have perhaps never considered transcending your jealousy.
Perhaps you have assumed that jealousy
is such a fundamental part of being in love
that there is no point in trying to get beyond it.
If the person you love begins to love someone else,
jealousy automatically appears.
And you might find this feeling so overwhelming and intolerable
that you decide to end the relationship.

    But if this book helps you to move
toward becoming a more Authentic person
—more whole within yourself, more directed and focused—
then you will naturally find yourself becoming immune to jealousy.

    Jealousy is not a feeling you will have to resist and deny.
As you become an irreplaceable person in your loving relationships,
the threat of jealousy will slowly diminish and finally disappear.
If you are an intensely jealous person now,
loving without jealousy seems an almost impossible transformation.
But keep an open mind.
And see if this chapter might open an entirely new way of loving.

revised 8-4-2007; 9-28-2007; 2-13-2014; 2-24-2017;

Because this is such a revolutionary chapter,
overturning one of the fundamental assumptions about love,
5 pages of the 16 are offered free on the Internet. Click this title:
"Loving without Jealousy:
As We Become More Authentic, Jealousy Disappears" .

To read an on-line essay based on this chapter, go to
"Romantic Jealousy: Cause and Prevention".

Go to the index page for New Ways of Loving:
How Authenticity Transforms Relationships .

Go to the beginning of this website:
James Leonard Park---Free Library.