Existential Freedom is a rare inner condition-of-being,
which is the opposite of our Existential Predicament or Existential
Malaise.
Also called our Existential Dilemma, this Problem
is much deeper than any of the psychological problems
it usually pretends to be.
When we are no longer possessed by such things as
existential anxiety, existential meaninglessness, & existential
insecurity,
we are empowered to love from a new fullness of being.
If 'love' used to consist of seeking someone
who could miraculously release us from our existential loneliness,
then, once that incompleteness-of-being is filled,
we can love from that condition of fullness
rather than placing the impossible burden of our existential loneliness
on the people we want to love.
This chapter discusses the impact
of Existential Freedom on our loving relationships.
It does not attempt to explain how we become Existentially
Free.
That is left to a number of other books by the same author.
These are all reviewed in the bibliography for this chapter:
Books
on
Existential Spirituality
.
Books by others—most notably Søren Kierkegaard—
are also reviewed in this annotated bibliography.
HOW
"Loving in
Existential Freedom"
MIGHT
CHANGE YOUR LIFE
Beyond the ordinary needs we often expect love to
fill
(sex, communication, companionship, relationship structure, etc.),
we have much deeper needs—existential needs—
which we might also expect to be satisfied in our loving relationships.
These include inner conditions like
existential depression, anxiety, loneliness, & meaninglessness.
Love is NOT the answer to our Existential
Predicament.
But once we stop expecting ultimate meaning to come thru love,
we can turn our deep attention to solving our Existential Malaise.
If and when we do find ourselves living beyond our
Predicament,
then we find that we are not even tempted
to put such impossible demands on the people we want to love.
Could anything transform love more deeply than Existential Freedom?
revised
9-28-2007; 2-13-2014; 2-24-2017;
If you would like to read the first two pages of
this chapter
—"Loving
in
Existential Freedom"—click that title.
The first page gives the complete table of contents
for this chapter from New
Ways of Loving
.