“THAT’
S
NOT
WHAT I’LL
BE SKIING
ON, IS IT?”
A definite look of panic has settled on my wife’s face as
she gestures at a mean-looking mogul patch outside the
window. “Of course not,” I reply, quietly sizing up the
incline myself and mentally licking my lips.
It’s the first morning of our ski trip and conditions
could not be better. Overnight snowmeans the powder
is fluffy and inviting, while the spring sun blazes in the
sky. To use the appropriate parlance, it is totally and
utterly bluebird.
As any pistehead will tell you, this is the moment of
maximum excitement: you’ve spent months planning,
it’s taken the best part of a day to get there and now, here
you are, hurriedly pulling on those salopettes, the slopes
in sight. So why does my beloved look so scared? Well,
the truth is, she’s a ski virgin.
Perhaps I’d better recap. Lucrezia and I have been
together for almost exactly a decade, but while we share
many common interests – schlocky horror movies, spicy
food, occasional schadenfreude – skiing has never been
one of our things. I was already a keen boarder when
we met, but she’d never had the inclination. It meant I’d
look on jealously as couples we knew posted glühwein-
frazzled selfies on Facebook direct from the Alps and
every year I prepared for the disappointment that would
come when we turned down another group invitation.
I knew it wasn’t fair to drag Lucrezia on trips where
everyone else could ski and she would be left alone in
lessons all day, but that rationale was also tinged with
sadness that she’d never get to enjoy the mountain buzz.
So I resolved to find a solution. Obviously, it’s the
ultimate definition of a first-world problem – there’s the
world’s tiniest après-ski accordion playing right now
beside me – but that’s how this travel challenge came
about: I decided to plan a trip that would give my ski-
phobic wife a taste of the Alpine lifestyle.
Aim one, the bare minimum, was to ensure it didn’t
all end in a messy divorce. A
second goal was that she might
actually see what the fuss is all
about. I also hoped my efforts
might inspire other couples in a
similar position.
While Lucrezia began to
ponder the all-important
question of what she was to wear
on the slopes (and here’s a hint:
first time around, don’t buy the
most expensive thing in the
shop), my number-one job was
to get an expert on board. “You
should go towards the end of the
season,” advised Ed Andrews
TIP 1
CHOOSE THE
RIGHT TIME
OF YEAR
It’s easier to learn when you can
see the slope
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