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May 26, 2010
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The innovations from iconic sci-fi projects like Blade Runner or Minority Report always seem to point to a future that may look like the present, but feel frustratingly out-of-reach. But recent technological advances let us come closer than ever to hunting down replicants or driving cars that talk back to us. Take a gander at some shiniess that come straight out of a Federation supply ship.
Fictional doodad: Wristwatch communicators. The idea of walkie-talkies that you could wear on your arm has been around at least since the Dick Tracy comic strip in the 1940s. Tracy's first watch only did audio communications, then added video in the 1960s.
Real-world counterpart: LG GD910 3G Watch Phone. Available now, this watch phone features a full touchscreen and a front-facing camera for video calling. It also sports bluetooth and reads back text messages to you.
The function we’re still waiting for: A direct line to Brock Samson. The mullet-wearing asskicker from the Venture Bros. (voiced by Patrick Warburton) always comes running when he gets a call from Hank or Dean Venture. Man, if I could call Brock Samson any time I wanted, we'd go driving in that sweet-ass Camaro of his and go to strip clubs all the time. Thank you, wristphone, for letting me dream.
Fictional doodad: Super-smart talking cars like KITT from Knight Rider. The Knight Industries Two Thousand (that number's how you knew it was cutting-edge) not only told David Hasselhoff where to go, it also told him when to go. *Snort* Michael Knight's bulletproof car of justice also sported that famous Turbo Boost too, for making sweet jumps.
Real-world counterpart: SYNC. Most GPS systems will do the whole talking-to-you-so-you-don't-get-lost-or-lonely thing, but the joint venture from Ford and Microsoft takes in-car computing to a whole new level. SYNC does hands-free voice-calling, reads text messages and offers real-time traffic updates. It damn near does everything except tell you where the bad guys are.
The function we’re still waiting for: Offensive capabilities like missiles. KITT got major firepower upgrades over the course of the Knight Rider TV show and there are times when we'd like a laser or grappling hook came standard with our ride. You ever been in LA traffic during rush hour? Yeah, then you, too, have dreamed about what a few missiles would do to those bottle-service douchebags two cars ahead of you.
Fictional doodad: Robots that clean for you like Rosie from The Jetsons. She may have been sassy to a fault and had the metal alloy hips of a rhino, but the automaton maid from Hanna-Barbera’s cartoon future could lift a couch and vacuum under it with no sweat. Let’s see your big-hipped roommate do that.
Real-world counterpart: Roomba from iRobot. These vacuum cleaning robots may not have much in the way of personality but they get all up in corners, underneath couches and avoid walls. When they’re done, they go quietly back to a charging dock. No crazy adventures for these guys.
The function we’re still waiting for: Inter-robot romance. Remember when Rosie and Uniblab hooked up. Creepy, right?
Fictional doodad: The Vid-Phon from Blade Runner. Deckard used this device to chat with clone-hottie Rachael from a sleazy future-L.A. bar. Similar devices that let you see who you’re talking to have shown up in films and TV shows like 2001: A Space Odyssey, Space: 1999 and Futurama.
Real-world counterpart: Skype. The groundbreaking VOIP service integrated video into its internet phone service years ago, which now means you have to comb your hair when mom calls you to find out why you’re not coming home for spring break. All you need is a webcam, which you might already have for more, um, personal reasons.
The function we’re still waiting for: In-car functionality. Hey, Danger Mouse had one in his car, and he’s a rodent. A secret agent, yeah, but he’s still technically vermin. What’s a human gotta do to get the hook-up?
