TF3 Must Be Shot in 3D (But Not Because It Looks Better)

No surprise here: Michael Bay will be delivering Transformers 3 in mind-splitting 3D.  But will he shoot the film in 3D or just "fix it in post"?

The technological movement is taking Hollywood storm...and divding the movie-going audience in the process. The post-conversion disaster that was Clash of the Titans has proven that rushed 3D can take a decent (or sub-par, in this case) flick and flush it directly down the toilet.  Problem is, we'll still pay to see the movies.

So if audiences are willing to throw down $18 for crappy-ass digital conversion, why would anyone bother shooting Transformers 3 in 3D?

I'm glad producer Lorezno di Bonaventura has acknowledged that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was a noxious piece of fail (although the man should be sued for the psychological damage he's done to the world's youth), but it's unclear what their plan is to make it better.  At first glance, upgrading Transformers 3 to 3D isn't the answer. In fact, the idea of watching a manic, Bay-directed action scene with jagged robots slamming in to one another and crap flying every which way already has my eyes rolling into the back of my skull.

But perhaps shooting the movie in 3D is the answer.  Think about it: the cameras required to shoot a movie in 3D are massive. Filmmakers are hesitant to shoot with them because of the restrictions they pose to their style.  Avatar worked, but remember, that was all shot indoors in a "volume."  Those who saw Clash in 3D noticed that the handheld shots were criss-crossed, like seeing double. You would not want to watch a Paul Greengrass film in the third-dimension.

While it may not fix his inability to tell coherent stories or his chauvinistic outlook on life, forcing Michael Bay to shoot with 3D cameras may be the anti-anxiety cure that Transformers 2 desperately needed. For once, Bay would have a reason (because he doesn't have another option) to keep steady, construct his action and allow an audience to soak up what he's trying to present - an alternative to shotgunning flashy imagery at our faces in order to "blow us away".

Transformers 2 was Stan Brakhage's The Dante Quartet of Hollywood blockbusters, minus the silence and moments of introspection. A bonafide sensory overload.  What the series needs is a deep breath - and 3D might be the way to do it. Just mention "Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's ass" to Bay and he'll be sold.

Hollywood, I say make Transformers 3D, and do it right.  Not only so we can see robots popping off the screen, but to give the Bay, Dr. Frankenstein of action movies, a reason to calm the heck down.