Santa Goes Postal in Rare Exports

Rare Exports is definitely my favorite movie about Santa Claus's murderous band of Elves.

If that description has you rolling your eyes at what must surely be a sub-Troma exercise in Trying Too Hard, know that this is a Finnish film and, hence, from a culture whose cinema is undoubtedly alien to you. As such, the film is impervious to definition and impossible to predict. At one moment it is deadly serious, the next it is goofy. It dips its toe into Guillermo Del Toro-esque pools of macabre and then it is . . .a kids' picture? Fair enough, Finland. You be you.

Our hero is a young boy, the only one who realizes that the evil American mining concern just over the border in Russia has dug up the original Santa Claus and is planning to weaponize him. Good luck getting the grownups, a bearded, dirty band of reindeer farmers, to pay any attention. They are still in a state of financial shock at the discovery of the bloody destruction of their herd. These Northlanders soon realize something is up when the bedraggled stranger who falls into one of their traps refuses. . .to. . . die.

Rare Exports is what my sister would call a "Crazy Movie," which is oftentimes an inadvertent label of quality. Definitely one to check out, hopefully when the hour is late and the mood is suggestive to tangential narrative.