I just saw my worst nightmare on screen. Four, yes four families to visit for Christmas! I'm not generally a fan of "comedy of the inevitable" and the sheer panic the premise invoked in me cannot be described. (No offense Mom and Dad) That said, I'm usually a fan of Vince Vaughn comedies so I went in with an open mind.
Four Christmases is exactly what you expect it to be. Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon star as a super-hip, childless couple Brand and Kate (gee, I wonder if she'll learn about the pure wonderfulness of babies after having one barf on her...that's generally how this goes) who usually go to some exotic local for Christmas to avoid their families, lying to them about doing some sort of charity work. This year the fog in San Francisco is too thick for planes to take off. After accidentally outing themselves on a news report covering the weather delay, they are forced to visit each branch of the family. The plot could not be more predictable. First up, Brad's dad (Robert Duvall). Unbelievably stereotypically backwoods, Brad's pop is a testosterone-fueled pain-in-the-ass. His brothers are uncouth brutes and his sister-in-law (Katy Mixon) is baby-making trailer trash. (I'm not saying baby-making and trailer trash automatically go together...no hate mail please) Of course she hands Kate her baby while she makes a spam and mayo (or some such concoction) casserole, while explaining that they're trying to eat more salad. Of course the baby starts screaming. Of course Kate accidentally smacks it's head on a wall. (Isn't that from Friends? Monica bang?) Brad's brothers beat him up (and reveal his true name, which Kate didn't know) and everyone is mad about the fancy gifts that Brad and Kate bring.
Next, the estrogen-fueled house of Kate's Mom, (Mary Steenburgen) who is dating a preacher. This year's choice of boyfriend means no gifts. Just sitting in a circle and emoting. Kate's jealous sister (Kristin Chenowith, who for once manages not to sneak in some sort of singing) gives her crap about being "cootie Kate" and there is some business with a breast pump. Don't faint, but they bring out the family pictures. I'm having nightmares already. Was Kate awkward? Fat? Ugly? Does Mom hit on Brad a bit? Does Kate start to get a little jealous of her sister's baby and wonder what it would be like to have one?
See where this is going? I'm not going to bother with the next two houses, except to say that one involves a hippy Sissy Spacek talking about having sex with her new, much younger hubby in front of son Brad. The last one involves lessons about life, love and the meaning of Christmas. Gack. Must everyone make a Christmas film every year? Must it be the same story over and over again? This is why we have the Hallmark Channel. Listen, if your film is not Elf or Bad Santa, I've seen it. Stop. Reuse. Recycle. That being said, there is a bright spot in this tinsel-coated Christmas version of Meet the Parents. Jon Favreau as Brad's UFC wanna be brother. Maybe it's the faux-hawk or the fake tattoos on the guy from Swingers, but I actually wanted to see him beat up Vaughn. I laughed more in this scene than I did in the rest of the film.
I usually love Vaughn's work. Who doesn't? And I don't know if all the rumors about he and Witherspoon feuding on set are true or not. I don't particularly care. But the two of them couldn't have had less chemistry if they were being filmed on different sets and edited together. And Witherspoon's Kate was pretty one-dimensional. We've seen so much better from both of them. I know, I know. I'm a Scrooge. But a Christmas movie shouldn't make me want to cancel my flight home and run off to Aruba, should it? Hey, that's not a bad idea, actually...
Release Date: November 26th, 2008
Director: Seth Gordon
Cast: Vince Vaughn, Reese Witherspoon, Mary Steenburgen, Kristin Chenoweth, Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek, Tim McGraw, Jon Favreau, Dwight Yoakam, Jon Voight
Direction: B-
Writing: C-
Performance: C
Visual Appeal: B
Overall: C
