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Exclusive Lines from Tarantino's Revised Smurf Script

Not only is Quentin going to play Brainy Smurf, he's gone ahead and taken a pass at the script.  Check out these unofficial leaked scenes!

By Matt Patches March 10, 2010
  
Brainy Smurf - The Smurfs
Brainy Smurf with Scarf Credit: Peyo

EXT. Oak Tree Stump

Brainy Smurf: You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Smurf in Belgium?

Sneezy Smurf: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Smurf?

Brainy Smurf: No, they got the metric system there, they wouldn't know what the f*ck a Quarter Pounder is.

Sneezy Smurf: What'd they call it?

Brainy Smurf: Royale with Smurf.

Brainy Smurf - The Smurfs
Brainy Smurf with Trombone Credit: Peyo

EXT. Smurf Band Practice

Greedy Smurf: So, I hear you're taking Smurfette out.

Brainy Smurf: At Papa Smurf's request.

Clumsy Smurf: You met Smurfette yet?

Brainy Smurf: No.

[Greedy and Clumsy laugh]

Brainy Smurf: What's so f*cking funny?

Clumsy Smurf: I gotta piss.

[exits]

Brainy Smurf: Look, I'm not stupid. It's the Big Smurf's wife. I'm gonna sit across from her, chew my sarsparilla with my mouth closed, laugh at her f*cking jokes, and that's it!

Brainy Smurf - The Smurfs
Brainy Smurf with an Idea Credit: Peyo

EXT. Smurf Parking Lot

Brainy Smurf: Hey, Smurfette, remember when I said this car was death proof? Well, that wasn't a lie. This car is 100% death proof. Only to get the benefit of it, Smurfy, you REALLY need to be sitting in my seat.

See More: The Smurfs | Quentin Tarantino