Vitals
- Products: Clash of the Titans
- Franchises: Clash of the Titans
- Genres: Science Fiction & Fantasy
- Cast Members: Alexa Davalos, Danny Huston, Gemma Arterton, Liam Neeson, Mads Mikkelsen, Pete Postlethwaite, Polly Walker, Ralph Fiennes, Sam Worthington
- Producer: Kevin De La Noy, Thomas Tull
- Director: Louis Leterrier
- Theatrical Release Date (US): March 26,2010
- Writer: Matt Manfredi, Phil Hay, Travis Beacham
- Notable Characters: Medusa, Perseus, The Kraken, Zeus
- Studio: Warner Bros. Pictures
When I was a kid my overly intellectual mother would sometimes take my sister out on a Sunday afternoon, leaving my Dad and I alone and I to watch, as she put it, stupid movies. They ranged from the old school like Jason and the Argonauts to The Crimson Pirate to (then) newer fare like Krull and Dragonslayer. The key was that they were spectacle-driven quest films with lots of extra dudes getting killed in bloodless ways, and it didn't quite effect your understanding of the plot if you got up to make a sandwich somewhere in the middle.
Louis Leterrier has made another such entry into this canon with Clash of the Titans. Those expecting any sort of new movie-going experience like that of 300 will be disappointed. There is absolutely nothing new about Clash of the Titans, but one can not deny the pleasures of familiarity in popcorn cinema. What's the first thing you say after riding an awesome roller coaster? Again!
In Clash of the Titans, Sam Worthington plays a block of concrete named Perseus who embarks on a battle against The Gods because Pete Postlethwaite has trouble catching fish. (That's a slight manipulation of the facts, but makes as much sense as the one given.) Perseus and his band of cannon fodder go to the Underworld and back in an attempt to fight for the Rights of Man. Along the way they battle giant scorpions, decapitate Medusa and hang out with a giant wooden stand-in for Chewbacca.
That description ought to be enough to get you to put your shoes on and head to the theater now, but I'd be remiss if I didn't offer some warnings, too. For one, the movie starts about six times. It's about thirty minutes til we meet the Stygian Witches who point Perseus on his path. (The Oracle scene in 300 was, what, ten minutes in?) Also, there isn't even a phoned-in attempt to get us to bond with Pegasus. He just shows up and we ride him to victory. It's also never explained how the townsfolk of Argos knew Perseus was a Demigod. Maybe they just smell it on him? (Or maybe a scene was cut out and it was hoped we wouldn't notice?) Also never explained: why are there the stone corpses of other adventurers in Medusa's lair? And how did Perseus know how to . . .do the special thing he does at the end to win the day (no spoilers!) without, you know, being told it was an option?
These lapses in logic show that Clash of the Titans is one of those few films that would actually benefit from the interruption of commercials.
While I am disappointed Clash did not achieve excellence, it achieved really frickin' fun. Liam Neeson as Zeus (pronounced Zee-oos by Gemma Arterton) has shiny silver armor and has the swagger of ten men. Ralph Fiennes hams it up as Hades giving even the great Nic Cage a run for his money. Then there's the fun of seeing an actor you like showing up for literally thirty seconds of screen time (was that Dr. Bashir?) and then disappearing. Indeed, the absolutely horribly rendered post-production 3D is only beneficial during the one scene the pulchritudinous Polly Walker's Cassiopeia is onscreen. (More like 3 Double D. Heyyoo!)
In conclusion, go see Clash of the Titans (in 2D) as either a twelve year old with your Dad or day-drunk with your friends. I doubt there'll be a better movie for these purposes for months.
