2012 is Roland Emmerich's ultimate snuff film.
Over the years the auteur of annihilation has delivered his fair share of larger-than-life destruction to the world, but there's something different about his new film. This time you won't see aliens, gargantuan lizards, or ice ages. No, in 2012, Emmerich asks us to ooh and aah while he pits the human race against the deadliest of foes: a world plagued by natural disaster. You know, not unlike the one people from Indonesia or New Orleans live in.
2012 sticks closely to the lowest-common-denominator plots we're familiar with: John Cusack fills the brainy, family man shoes as Jackson Curtis, a writer and limousine driver whose weekend camping trip with his children takes a turn for the worse when sunny Los Angeles begins imploding and Yellowstone National Park erupts into the largest active volcano since Dante's Peak.
Luckily for Curtis, a chance encounter with crazed
hippie/former-Air America correspondent Charlie Frost (a hilarious Woody
Harrelson) tips him off to a secret project that could ensure his family's
safety. Curtis, his ex-wife Kate
(Amanda Peet), their kids, Kate's boyfriend and the rest of the Brady Bunch
soar towards the Himalayas (barely escaping a rain of fire, of course) where
the government has built "arks" aimed to continue mankind.
Let the race and destruction of famous monuments begin!
While an audience isn't running to the theaters for 2012's performances (unless you need John Cusack's master class in the "oh s*it" face), some of the cast pulls the mega blockbuster out of the realm of illogic and into watchable territory. Oliver Platt and Chiwetel Ejiofor make debating morality issues fun again with their roles as the government officials running the ark project, while George Segal pops up as a blues musician who'll never get to say goodbye to his son. It all would be touching if I weren't also laughing at 2012's signature ID4-golden-retriever moment: a pudgy Russian moppet leaping towards the ark door just in the nick of time.
But you aren't seeing this movie for the acting, so let's get to the mayhem. As the banter-rich dialogue zings, Roland blows up a lot of crap with tremendous finesse. The detail of the sinking Los Angeles surrounding Curtis' limo as it zigs and zags through cracking streets or the large wideshots of a burning Las Vegas are jaw-droppingly impressive.
Maybe too impressive? Perhaps I am oversensitive, but I struggled (this time around) to find enjoyment in the wiping out of humanity. Unlike The Day After Tomorrow or Independence Day, the destruction in 2012 is straight out of the nightly news. It becomes increasingly difficult to ignore shades of history with the film's depictions of a rampaging fire making its way through LA, two glass skyscrapers falling in to one another, or a tidal wave crashing on to the shores of Asia. Chiwetel Ejiofor, didn't I just see you in that miniseries Tsumani: The Aftermath?
Jackson Curtis explains that his only published book was a failure because, "the critics called me an unabashed optimist." Dazzling special effects can buy you a few points, but I wouldn't call killing six and a half billion people while slinging yuk-filled dialogue optimistic.
What did you think of this movie? Am I being a big curmudgeon? Let us know in the comments and don't forget to download our blog!
