I know!
The only difference is Elliot Goldsmith isn’t there to pants me for playing Robotron 2084, which remains the best arcade game ever and what was his deal anyway?
And what better way to celebrate memories of good times like involuntarily having my wang pulled out in front of girls at the mall than a drinking game?
*NOTE: Due to Microsoft Game Room not working for many gamers, I have written two drinking games: one for gamers who can play it and one for gamers who can’t.
Take A Shot Every Time
- You can’t touch Asteroids Deluxe because Dana DiLeonardo broke up with you while you were playing Asteroids Deluxe and, man, you don’t need that memory.
- While playing an arcade game, you realize your Xbox Avatar has a bald spot.
- You keep right on walking by that Intellivision section.
- You wish Microsoft sold a wall of crappy prizes so your arcade really felt like home.
Take Two Shots Every Time
- You spend five bucks to buy a game you play for fifteen minutes.
- You defend spending five bucks to buy a game you play for fifteen minutes.
- You play a game you spent five bucks on for five more minutes to prove to your girlfriend it wasn’t a waste of money.
- You realize this girlfriend thing – who are you kidding, dude?
Finish The Bottle Every Time
- You’re out of tokens and it makes you miss your Dad.
- You put a token on your TV for old time’s sake before realizing no one’s going to challenge your place in line, like, ever.
- You make your little brother – now 32 – cry for that old arcade feeling.
Know You Can Never Be 12 Again When
- You realize most of these games suck.
Keep Drinking When
- Microsoft Game Room doesn’t work.
Stop Drinking When
- Microsoft earns your respect.