So the Nintendo 3DS hasn't been selling well. This is not surprising, given that it makes a ton of people sick and has about one good game, which is a remake of a Nintendo 64 game everybody's already played except for Chris Radtke.
Nintendo's solution, they just announced this morning, is to slash the price from $249 to $169. This is great news for everyone except those of us who blindly follow Nintendo and just spent the extra $80 a few months ago.
In their infinite wisdom, Nintendo has decided to grace us early adopters with 20 free downloadable games for our 3DS: ten Game Boy Advance and ten NES. Nintendo has already announced half of those games. For the NES, we'll be getting Super Mario Bros., Donkey Kong Jr., Balloon Fight, Ice Climber, and The Legend of Zelda. GBA games will include Yoshi's Island, Super Mario Advance 3, Mario Kart: Super Circuit, Metroid Fusion, WarioWare, Inc: Mega Microgame$, and Mario Vs. Donkey Kong.
If you're like me, a devoted Nintendo fan (you know, the kind who would, say, buy a Nintendo 3DS on launch?) you already own twenty copies of Super Mario Bros. and The Legend of Zelda. Here's what Nintendo should pass out for their other ten games:
NES:
- Mega Man 2: Fans know Mega Man 2 is the best Mega Man game. Blisteringly difficult, this game is perfect for the new, cheap 3DS since you will now be able to afford a new one if you chuck yours at a wall in frustration.
- Dragon Warrior: Mayhaps you know of the series known as Dragon Quest? The original title in the RPG series was a surprise hit in America and laid a foundation for JRPGs. If you're one of those people who rail on BioWare for making Dragon Age II too easy and also crappy (get in line behind me), get ready to experience the hardest of the hardcore RPGs. Not for the easily distracted or stupid.
- Duck Tales: Laugh if you must, clown, but those of us in the know are hip to the fact that Duck Tales is one of the best NES games ever made. One of Capcom's finest projects, Duck Tales was basically like Mega Man with three adorable and pants-less duckling nephews.
- Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!: Now that he did that whole show about raising pigeons, Iron Mike might seem a little less tough to you. Fool. This man will kick your ass and put you in a beauty contest - not necessarily in that order. I'd also like to see the abandoned sequel, which had Tyson traveling around space punching out alien dudes. It's like Space Jam, but not at all.
- Blaster Master: Not to be confused with Master Blaster, the entity from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome who consisted of a little person riding on the shoulders of a giant. Blaster Master was a sweet run and gun platformer that took place in future space. Even if we never get this on the 3DS, do yourself a favor and pick it up on the Wii Virtual Console. Isn't it high time for a sequel, SunSoft? You're probably not doing anything.
GBA:
- Ninja Five-O: Though this sounds exactly like the stupid kind of Japanese Hawaii Five-O rip-off that I'd be making an insincere entry about, I never mess around when it comes to Ninja Five-O. Konami's GBA side-scroller features ninja cop (eff yeah) Joe Osugi, who fights not only terrorists but ninjas who are terrorists. Not only is the concept seriously satisfying, this Bionic Commando-style game is actually totally awesome in its own right.
- Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga: If you dig the Mario & Luigi series on DS, you've got to see where it all started. One of Mario's always-stellar RPG entries, Mario & Luigi not only holds up today as a solid RPG, it'll keep you laughing (or, in the case of the bizarro villain Fawful, just puzzled). This game is for those of you who have always wanted to see Mario in the shower (yes, I'm serious).
- Golden Sun: The best RPG on the GBA (suck it, Fire Emblem), Golden Sun ups the ante on traditional RPGs with distinctive elements like the Djinn system. These were creatures who, once found, are slotted to characters whose abilities are then enhanced. Also, this one has been missing from the Virtual Console for a long time, and there's no better time to bring it to life.
- Metroid: Zero Mission: A super-sweet enhanced remake of the original Metroid, Zero Mission would be a good complement to the already-announced 3DS freebie Metroid Fusion. Let it be said here that if Nintendo forgoes this in favor of just releasing the original Metroid under the NES category, I will be one steamed clam.
- The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap: Did you know Capcom took a few handheld spins with the Zelda series? Indeed so, and they did an awesome job every time. One of those games in The Minish Cap, in which Link's cap is replaced with a bird for maximum comedy effect and beak murders. At least that's the way I remember it.
What games would you early adopters like to receive?
