Here’s a story that’ll take you to the next town: When I was seven, I was such a big fan of the Mega Man games that I asked my parents to get him to come to my birthday party. They thought that was the name of a professional body builder and since they didn’t think they could get an illustrious lifter like Mega Man, they just bought me a subscription to Muscle & Fitness.
I’m sure there’s no better moment in a parent’s life than seeing their pre-pubescent son open a present, see a picture of an athletic man, and break into tears.
You can see what this has to do with drinking.
Here is a drinking game to help you remember the best and worst of Mega Man, the video game, not the man who my parents thought had muscles.
Even though the real Mega Man is very strong.
Take A Shot Every Time
- Dr. Wiley is at it again!
- Dr. Light is surprised that Dr. Wiley is at it again!
- A Robot Master kills you with something deadly like bubbles or leaves.
- You curse God and his cruel angels for giving you a weapon energy tank rather than a life energy tank.
Take Two Shots Every Time
- You finish a game without using 7 out of the 8 enemy weapons.
- You selfishly trample your only friend, Rush, to reach an extra life.
- Skull Man appears on screen because, really, Skull Man? Really?
- You wonder where Wiley got all the funding for miles and miles of robot enemies and themed-landscaping and music and speakers to play that music from.
Finish The Bottle Every Time
- The deadliest enemy on any given stage is a bullet to your face as you try to jump over a pit.
- Roll gives you a little bit of that robot loving. Or is she your sister? Can robots have sisters? Can robots love? Drink!
- You save the world for the last time for the time being.
Refill Your Bottle With Tears When
- You realize your parents only got you that subscription to Muscle & Fitness because they loved you so much!
