I had my review for Guitar Hero: Metallica planned out before I even opened the game. I was going to write:
Guitar Hero: Metallica is Guitar Hero World Tour with a bunch of Metallica songs, and some other songs Metallica fans might like.
That would be totally amusing, right? I would efficiently demonstrate my contempt for Activision's habit of "exploiting properties", mock the whole idea of reviewing an obvious cash-in product, and best of all, save myself valuable time for the usual leisure activities of a video-game reviewer, like floating in a pool of Cristal while giggling strippers peel organic grapes for my enjoyment.
Unfortunately, I'll have no time for Mandi, Brandi and Candi today, because against all expectations, Neversoft has actually made a game that's worth caring about. In fact, if you're a Metallica fan, they've pretty much made the game you've been dreaming of since you got your first pimple.
But before I go to overboard in praising the title, an aside:
Dear Activision:
Hi! How are you? I am fine.
Guys, it was a really cool idea to add a second drum pedal to your
Metallica game. The point of a game like this is to identify with my favorite
musicians, so it's great to be able to rock out Lars style. But...look, I know you're proud of the Guitar Hero drums. And you
should be; they're really great, arguably better than the drum set that comes
with that other music game franchise (ahem).
But making your Metallica pedal not work with the Rock Band drums is a total bummer!
Okay, now that the unpleasant part is over, on to the good! In every detail, Neversoft really went all-out in the fan service this title demands. The stadiums look like Metallica covers brought to 3-D life, the venue list is taken from actual Metallica tours, and even the interface elements are based on Metallica's vast library of creeping-death iconography. When you navigate to the "Backstage" section, you'll find they've packed in even more stuff, including concert videos, photo galleries full of stuff you might actually want to look at, footage of the band at their motion-capture sessions, and even a Metallica blooper reel. Players who've never gotten the hang of the drums will be happy to watch Lars fail and fail and fail to reproduce the "Shortest Straw" intro. Even the individual songs get their own extras, with almost every song having an option to bring up a lyric sheet, an info sheet, or watch the song with pop-up "Metallifacts".
Oh, and besides all that, there's also a game! The game is, well, Guitar Hero World Tour with a bunch of Metallica songs and some other songs Metallica might like. But if you're any kind of metal fan, that's just fine. The days of Neversoft making painfully unfun note charts seem to be thankfully over. The guitar, bass, and drums charts all feel right, even if they sometimes make odd decisions about where hammer-ons should be, and Metallica's complicated music means that even the bass parts are fun to play. Those of you who enjoyed the brutal difficulty of Metallica songs in previous rhythm games will be glad to see that they've added an "Expert +" mode to the drums, where you have to play every one of Lars' ankle-snapping double-bass hits. They've also added some Metallica-themed power-ups to the online battle mode, but otherwise, multiplayer is unchanged.
The game is built around a somewhat confused story. You alternate between playing as a cover band eager to open for Metallica (played by the usual Guitar Hero avatars) and Metallica themselves. The idea seems to be that when you play non-Metallica songs, you play as the cover band, and when you play Metallica songs, you play as Metallica. It's a nice idea, and it's told through charming 2-D animated cutscenes created by Titmouse, the makers of the similarly cultish Metalocalypse cartoon. But it makes for a somewhat confusing gameplay experience, as you're constantly shuttled back and forth between the characters you customized and the Metallica avatars. That's a minor complaint though, especially when the Metallica avatars are so well motion-captured; their faces may be so deep in the Uncanny Valley that they're leasing water rights, but their animation is perfect.
Any hardcore Metallica fan might feel a little nonplussed about a band that once swore they'd never make videos now signing off on their own cartoons. It's a little weird to watch James Hetfield shouting "Master of puppets, pulling your strings," while dressed in a mo-cap suit, surrounded by computers, pounding on a plastic guitar. But anyone who likes rhythm games and heavy metal will quickly get over that once they see what an obvious labor of love this game turned out to be. The rest of us wussies will save our cash for Guitar Hero: The Smiths, coming any day now.
