Finally, the game that dares to ask, "Just how many hit points does Lance Henriksen have anyway?" Other questions posed in Aliens vs. Predator are, "How many times can you reuse the same map in one game?", "How is a predator like an electric car?", and, "Is there any way to screw up a perfectly good game design after it's been done so well two times?" So that you don't have to play this awful, second-rate shooter, here are the answers: "A ridiculous amount," "Three," "They both have to drive around looking for a power outlet," and, "Yes."
That last question is the most important. Aliens vs. Predator is a great game. I mean, of course, the original made by Rebellion way back in 1999 (not to mention Monolith's superlative 2001 sequel). This curious attempt at a do-over, also made by Rebellion and conspicuously missing any number or subtitle after its name, is a terrible game for how unambitious and unimaginative it is.
The problem is that Rebellion's shooters haven't come very far in the last 10 years, and their latest creation belongs squarely in the tradition of linear slogs through corridors devoid of personality. This is the way shooters were made in the olden days when all you needed was a good engine, but minus the good engine part. It's been a long time since I was dropped into a canyon with a couple of trees and told I was in a jungle. Beyond the terrible level design, you can only get so far with aliens biting buttons, predators activating Tomb Raider switches, and Colonial Marines shooting at glowing weak points. Even when Rebellion has interesting gameplay concepts, as they did with Rogue Trooper, they don't seem to know what to do with them.
The attempted twist this time is the same twist as the last game, which kind of means it's not much of a twist. Here is another overlapping, Rashomon narrative, told three times over from three different perspectives. Aliens get loose, predators arrive, boss battles ensue. I can't decide whether the only unique crossover gimmick is inspired, insipid, or somewhere in between. You tell me. Are cloaking combat androids (i.e. "artificial persons") stupid or ingenious? They've got a certain pirates vs. ninjas flair to them, especially when you realize that headshots have no effect (remember Ash in the first movie) and their torsos are nearly invulnerable. So you have to basically saw their legs off with a full clip of ammo from the pulse rifle. But once you've de-legged an invisible milk-blooded android three or four times, all the joy goes out of it.
