15 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games

Life lesson: Stick-to-it-iveness is the sharpest blade of all

Shadow Of The Colossus is a playable version of an inspirational poster-metaphorically, those colossi represent your parents, your incessant bedwetting, your obsessive-compulsive need to lick everything. Just play SOTC, believe in yourself, and you can overcome any stories-high obstacle if you strike its weakpoint!

Life lesson: Resistance is futile

Even arty indie games with lazy social commentary have their own wisdom to impart. If your crappy job hasn't already nailed this into you, Every Day the Same Dream will: work-a-day existence is excruciatingly pointless. Now go punch that clock, wage slave! That round of Solitaire isn't going to play itself.

Life lesson: Don't just bring words to a fight

Civilization offers a time-tested approach to conflict resolution: stockpile nuclear arms. If you can laugh off Gandhi's threat that his words "are backed by NUCLEAR WEAPONS!," well, then who can ever really stop you in real life?

Life lesson: Everything's for sale

Nintendogs is a guilt-free way of trying out owning a dog. If you forget to feed and bathe your perky pup and can't bring yourself to see an emaciated and filthy dog greet you on your DS, well, you can absolve yourself by either reselling the game to GameStop for 25 cents or just throw the cartridge away. Either way, no kill shelter is going to give you that good of a deal.