HEMISPHERESMAGAZINE.COM
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OCTOBER2015
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ILLUSTRATIONSBYMARCROSENTHAL
19
DISPATCHES
NEWS AND NOTES FROM AROUND THE WORLD
O
n a Sunday afternoon atMCUPark onConey
Island, a crowd cheers on a group of people
grooving toEarth,Wind&Fire’s“ShiningStar.”
There are five dancers in all, four women and a
man, and their moves are remarkably similar—the kind
ofwildkicks, tossedheads and jerked thumbs thatwould
normally precede theHeimlichmaneuver.
Theoccasion is theElaineDancingContest,anhomage
to the “Seinfeld” episode inwhich Julia Louis-Dreyfus’
characterperformswhatGeorgeCostanzadescribes as“a
full-bodydryheave set tomusic.”It’sall partof the second
annual “Salute toSeinfeld”event,hostedbyaminor league
baseball team, theBrooklynCyclones.
Also on the roster is theRunningErrands forMr.Pitt
ContestandtheTopoftheMuffintoYoueatingcontest.The
mostcovetedprize,though,is theBigSaladChampionship
Belt, awarded to the most terrible dancer. “This,” says
contestantRalphSchneider,“ismy time to shine.”
Schneider entered the contest last year dressed in his
civvies and placed second. “This year, I got a dress and a
wig,”he says. “If that doesn’t win, I don’t knowwhat you
need.”Soon, though, his enthusiasm gets the better of
him—he tosseshisheada little toovigorously,and thewig
flies off.The crowd’s delighted screams canbeheard from
theThunderbolt coaster beyond the leftfieldwall.
In the end, the flyingwig is not enough.The eventual
winner,Andi D’Angelo, exits the fieldwith her thumbs
aloft,her floral dress flapping in thebreeze.Less cheery is
her fellowcontestant (and lastyear’schamp) JamieSclafane,
who trudgesback to the standswithagrimace,though she
insists that this has nothing todowithdisappointment.“I
think I hurtmyself,”she says.
—BOBMAKELA
brooklyn
ACompetitionAboutNothing
Dancing likeElaine at aConey Islandminor leaguebaseball park’s “Salute to Seinfeld”
