How to Fix Them

How to Fix Them

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Okay, lets talk about "How to Fix Them."

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That term, just those four words, carries a whole lot of baggage, doesnt it?

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(Its the kind of phrase that makes you pause and maybe even cringe a little.) Because, honestly, who are "they," and what makes us think they need "fixing" in the first place?


The immediate problem, of course, is the inherent judgment baked right in. When we talk about fixing someone, were essentially saying theyre broken, flawed, or somehow inadequate.

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(And thats rarely a helpful or accurate perspective.) It assumes we know better, that we possess some superior understanding of how someone should be.


Now, Im not naive.

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We all see things in others that we think could be improved.

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Maybe a friend has a habit of interrupting, or a family member struggles with anger management. (We all have our quirks, its true.) But the crucial difference lies in how we approach those perceived flaws.


Instead of thinking about "fixing," a much more compassionate and ultimately effective approach is to focus on support and understanding.

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(Think of it as helping them grow, rather than patching them up.) If someone is genuinely struggling, maybe they need professional help, a safe space to talk, or simply someone to listen without judgment.


Sometimes, what we perceive as a problem in someone else is actually just a difference in perspective. (We all see the world through our own unique lens.) What we might consider inefficient, someone else might see as meticulous. What we might label as shy, someone else might simply be introverted.


And lets be real, often the desire to "fix" someone stems from our own insecurities or unmet needs. (Its easier to focus on someone elses flaws than to confront our own, right?) Maybe were trying to control a situation, or perhaps were seeking validation by showing how much "better" we are.


So, instead of asking "How to Fix Them," maybe a better question is "How can I support them?" (Or even, "How can I better understand them?") Its about shifting the focus from judgment to empathy, from control to connection. Because at the end of the day, people arent broken machines that need repair. Theyre complex, individual beings deserving of respect and understanding. (And sometimes, the best "fix" is simply acceptance.)



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