SYNOPSIS OF CHAPTER 6

Multiple Loving

Open Relationships Beyond Jealousy

    In the West, at least, having more than one loving relationship at a time
goes against the tradition of exclusive possessiveness.
(Other cultures and sub-cultures have sometimes included
traditions that allow people to have more than one meaningful relationship
—such as a spouse—at a time. )

    And even in the West it has been quite common
for people who are married or in other close relationships
to have secret love-affairs on the side.

    However, this chapter is about something entirely different.
It is not about multiple sexual partners,
even if this is the primary pre-conception
that readers bring with them when they open this chapter.

    The multiple loving described and discussed in Chapter 6
means open, honest, & acknowledged loving relationships
with two or more partners.

    Obviously this chapter must be read
in conjunction with the one just before it,
which explains how we can transcend jealousy.
Only when everyone involved has become Authentic enough
to be immune to feelings of jealousy will multiple loving work.

    This means that the vast majority of the population
will have no use for this chapter.
People who are still susceptible to jealousy
are invited to read this chapter only as an intellectual adventure.
It might help them to explore possibilities
that might become open to them
if and when they ever get beyond jealousy.

HOW READING
"Multiple Loving:
Open Relationships Beyond Jealousy"
MIGHT CHANGE YOUR LOVE-LIFE

If you have really transcended the threat of jealousy,
then this chapter can open up
a quite new and different pattern of loving relationships for you.
Instead of closing yourself to new loving relationships
simply because you already have a good loving relationship,
you can be genuinely open to new people you meet
—as long as they are also ready for non-traditional relationships,
specifically relationships that go beyond the one-to-one exclusiveness
that has been assumed for loving relationships for so long.

If you have two meaningful, committed loving relationships,
this will certainly change your love-life from the days
when you were trying hard to stick to the exclusive pattern.
Only a few people are able to make multiple loving work for them.
But if you are one of these rare individuals,
this chapter can help you to think thru the dynamics
of having more than one committed loving relationship at a time.

THE MOST COMMON MISUNDERSTANDING OF
"Multiple Loving: Open Relationships Beyond Jealousy"

    Because we all have such strong concepts of multiple sexual relationships,
this idea might possess our minds so completely
that we cannot think of anything else while we read this chapter.
Even when I read it myself, I cannot shake off this prior image.
In each revision, I try harder to under-cut this false pre-conception.
But I am not entirely sure that I have succeeded.
I can just ask the reader to set aside any past experience
he or she has had with multiple sexual relationships.

    Multiple loving as described in this chapter
does not usually mean that all the partners will live together.
But they will know about each other.
And they will approve of the people they love
having additional loving relationships.
This might be the crucial difference between multiple loving
and having secret sexual affairs
behind the back of one's primary partner:
Everyone knows about all the relationships.
And when additional loving relationships make people happy,
then everyone who loves those people
will be happy for them and with them.

    Most readers will see this as a fantasy world
because jealousy is so easy and automatic for them
whenever they even imagine an additional loving relationship
for someone they love.

    But for people who have transcended jealousy and possessiveness
—perhaps because they have become more Authentic—
having more than one profound loving relationship
(and allowing everyone we love to have additional relationships)
could be wonderful.

revised 8-4-2007; 9-28-2007; 2-13-2014; 2-24-2017;

If you would like to read the first two pages of this chapter, click this title:
"Multiple Loving: Open Relationships Beyond Jealousy" .
The first page includes the table of contents for Chapter 6.

Go to the index page for New Ways of Loving:
How Authenticity Transforms Relationships .

Go to the opening page of this website:
James Leonard Park---Free Library .