Looking
for the Meaning of Life
SYNOPSIS:
When
we seek to make our
own lives "meaningful",
we might be struggling with two different
sorts of meaninglessness.
We can create many kinds of relative
meanings
within the assumed areas of meaningful life:
money, achievement, love, marriage, children,
enjoyment, & religion.
But even when we have fulfilled such meanings,
we might still feel an ultimate hollowness,
a spiritual or existential
meaninglessness.
This deeper meaninglessness is not overcome
by any of the relative
meanings we can create or achieve.
The
following 5-fold
distinction underlies this essay:
Relative Meaninglessness Existential Meaninglessness
1. Disappointed
expectations;
1. Frameworks of meaning collapse;
failure to fulfill accepted
criteria.
lack of ultimate purpose in life.
2. Discrepancy between
established
2. Uncaused; discovered as a
criteria and observable
actualities;
fundamental condition-of-being;
based on intellectual information.
existentially disclosed.
3. Temporary—lasts only
until
3. Permanent—no matter what we
the discrepancy is
corrected.
change, meaninglessness continues.
4. Limited to a
specific
4. Pervades every dimension of life.
realm of meaning.
5. We know what to
change
5. Nothing we can do
to bring
meaning.
will make life ultimately
meaningful.
OUTLINE:
I.
MY
EARLY QUEST FOR
MEANING
II.
NO
HELP FROM ACADEMIC
PSYCHOLOGY AND PHILOSOPHY
III. RELATIVE MEANINGLESSNESS
& EXISTENTIAL MEANINGLESSNESS
IV.
THE COLLAPSE OF
'MEANINGS' AND ILLUSIONS
V.
BEYOND EXISTENTIAL
MEANINGLESSNESS
LOOKING
FOR THE MEANING OF LIFE
by James Leonard Park
I. MY EARLY QUEST FOR MEANING
I
first glimpsed the meaninglessness
of life in my late teens,
when I began to look deeply into my future,
trying to decide what to do with my life.
It was a time of deep searching and questioning.
I will try to reproduce from memory some
of my thoughts from that time:
I see many people in the world, running this way and that,My early sense of meaninglessness was directly related to death:
busy with work and family and various kinds of recreation.
But what does it all mean in the long run?
What if I had never been born?
And after I am dead, what mark will I have left on the world
to show that I have existed,
that I have accomplished something?
Will I be remembered for even 100 years?Human life seems like a useless, meaningless treadmill.
It is like a huge industrial complex for producing oil,
but all of the oil is needed to keep the machines running!
All it accomplishes is its own perpetuation.
What's the point of running around in a squirrel-cage,
of giving my life to a rat-race without a goal?
I now see that I
misunderstood the nature of my meaninglessness
and that I was using inappropriate methods
for dealing with it
—looking for a definite purpose,
a specific meaning for my life.
But this effort to create my own meaning
did not work.
I eventually saw thru all the goals and
purposes of my contemporaries:
Possessions, accomplishments, adventures,
love, marriage, family
all seemed hollow and empty, ephemeral and
fleeting.
I knew these would not satisfy my quest
for meaning.
And I took an arrogant attitude toward those
who thought otherwise
—the near-sighted people who literally gave
themselves to such trivia:
Most people keep their eyes trained just a few paces ahead.Religion also played a role in my early quest for meaning.
They do not see their coming deaths;
they do not ask where their journey is ultimately headed.
They live relatively contented lives, pursuing their goals,
enjoying the many diversions and amusements along the way.
Their lives differ little from the lives of animals.
They live from one moment to the next as their neighbors do,
without asking the ultimate questions of life.
Granted that this life has no meaning in itself,But this attempt was futile also.
it must be preparation for life in another dimension.
Death is not the end but the beginning,
the beginning of an eternal life which will be so meaningful
that its meaning will reflect back on this preparatory life.
Only when the heavenly life has begun, however,
will we understand the full significance
of what is happening to us in earthly life.
II. NO HELP FROM ACADEMIC PSYCHOLOGY AND PHILOSOPHY
Another snapshot:
In an introductory psychology class in college,
the professor commented that the search
for meaning was childish.
The students all laughed; obviously they
did not agree.
Perhaps the professor thought we should
to be satisfied with
relative meanings, short-term goals we can
achieve.
Everyday purposes and goals can be measured
against assumed values.
III. RELATIVE MEANINGLESSNESS & EXISTENTIAL MEANINGLESSNESS
But when we say
that life is meaningless,
we question the assumed standards of
meaning themselves.
We know that we can spend our lives working
toward relative
goals.
But is that meaningful?
The whole
process seems hollow and empty.
Short-term purposes
and relative goals no longer satisfy us.
We know all about pursuing practical goals
in work and family.
But do these little meanings add up to anything?
Even in the midst of contentment, existential
meaninglessness appears.
IV. THE COLLAPSE OF 'MEANINGS' AND ILLUSIONS
This kind of meaninglessness
is not a reasoned
conclusion but an inward disclosure.
Spiritual meaninglessness is a sense of
futility arising from within.
Such disclosive moments happen when short-term
goals collapse.
Or maybe in a period of leisure we see ourselves
in depth.
We might suddenly be struck with the futility
of our lives.
One of the "Peanuts" comic strips illustrates
this:
Lucy is merrily jumping rope.
Suddenly
her mouth droops;
she drags her jump-rope over to Charlie
Brown and says,
"I suddenly realized the futility of it
all!"
Usually we keep
our underlying condition locked away, under wraps.
We keep ourselves busy and preoccupied
so that we seldom notice our fundamental
meaninglessness.
But sometimes—against our wills—something
pierces our thick skin,
cracks our protective shell, opens the cage
of our imprisonment,
and our guts spill tangled on the ground.
Our life-purposes have collapsed, leaving
us empty and alone.
Every 'meaning'
contains the possibility of disillusionment.
If we put our trust in possessions, success,
marriage, children, enjoyment, religion,
we can be profoundly disappointed if that
'meaning' fails.
If we hope to attain
meaning thru children who will live after us,
perhaps giving us a pinch of 'immortality',
then we might be cast into confusion and regret
if our children disappoint our dreams 'for
them'
or if all our children die before us, leaving
no children of their own.
If our dreams of finding meaning thru children
are destroyed,
our hidden existential meaninglessness might
flood consciousness.
V. BEYOND EXISTENTIAL MEANINGLESSNESS
It might take years of living to be convincedThere is an inexpressible confirmation of meaning.Is this 'meaning' the removal of existential meaninglessness,
Meaning is assured.
Nothing can any longer be meaningless.
The question about the meaning of life is no longer there.
But were it there, it would not have to be answered.
You do not know how to exhibit and define the meaning of life,
you have no formula or picture for it,
and yet it has more certitude for you
than the perceptions of your senses....
Meaning does not permit itself to be transmitted
and made into knowledge generally current and admissible....
It is not prescribed, it is not specified on any tablet,
to be raised above all men's heads.
The meaning that has been received can be proved true
to each man only in the singleness of his being
and the singleness of his life.[Martin Buber I and Thou tr. Ronald Gregor Smith
(New York: Scribners, 1958) p. 110 & 111]
Questions for Discussion
1. When did you first begin to ask about the meaning of life?
2. What do you think about the assumed 'meanings' of our culture?
3. When choosing how to spend your life, do you feel meaningless?
4. Has it been difficult to share your meaninglessness with others?
5. If and when you feel meaningless, do you consider suicide?
6. Have you been
content to pursue
relative meanings,
without
asking for the ultimate meaning of human existence?
7. All of the
world's religions see
some purpose behind human life.
Which
of these views—if any—do you find convincing?
8. Was there a
time in your life when
religious beliefs
gave
meaning to your existence?
9. Can earthly life be made meaningful by life after death?
10. Have you ever had a 'disclosive moment' in which you saw futility?
11. Have you given up the struggle to create your own meaning?
12. Have you opened yourself for the coming of existential meaning?
13. Have you
experienced the removal of existential
meaninglessness?
James Park is an existential
philosopher.
He continues to be interested in all quests for meaning.
You
will learn much more
about him on his website:
James
Leonard Park—Free
Library.
This
essay has now become a chapter
in a small book called
Inward
Suffering:
The
Dark Night of the Soul.
Further Reading on Existential Meaninglessness & Meaning
MORE
INFORMATION ON
THE INTERNET
ABOUT
THE QUEST FOR
MEANING IN LIFE
Looking
for the
Meaning of Life, an Internet Portal,
draws together these and other Internet resources
that might be useful in your quest for meaning in life.
Go to other
on-line
essays by James Park,
organized into 10 subject-areas.
Return to the UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST page
Go to
the beginning of this website
James
Leonard Park—Free
Library