Sinking
into the River of Existential Despair
SYNOPSIS:
Everyday disappointments and failures cause
psychological despair.
But much deeper than these psychological-emotional dynamics
lies our Existential Malaise experienced as existential despair.
How might we cope with this deep hopelessness without a cause?
OUTLINE:
I. EXISTENTIAL DESPAIR
DIFFERS FROM ITS PSYCHOLOGICAL TWIN IN 5 WAYS.
II. TRYING TO SWIM AGAINST
THE CURRENT OF DESPAIR.
CHART:
|
PSYCHOLOGICAL DESPAIR
|
EXISTENTIAL DESPAIR
|
1. Hopelessness of a
definite situation;
impossibility of a specific task. |
1. Total hopelessness;
all efforts futile. |
2. Understandable cause or
source
in the objective world. |
2. No objective cause;
existentially disclosed from
within. |
3. We eventually accept the
loss or
defeat; reconstruction possible. |
3. Permanent hopelessness;
no reconstruction possible. |
4. Independent, separate,
isolatable difficulties. |
4. Pervasive, comprehensive
hopelessness. |
5. We can accept the
inevitable
and focus on other values. |
5. We cannot overcome it,
only conceal it or embrace it. |
Sinking into the River of Existential
Despair
by James Leonard Park
We are all floating down the River of Despair,
drifting towards death.
Some of us live in elaborate house-boats;
some of us bob along in smaller motorboats and rowboats;
others are lying on rafts;
and still others are in the water clinging to driftwood.
We all proceed with approximately the same speed
toward the same
destiny.
But some of us are enjoying the trip more than others.
Some of us feel the wetness of despair against our own skins;
while others are protected from the river by secure life-games.
If we live in house-boats, we can ignore the river:
We live as if we were on dry land.
The waves on the river represent our small
disillusionments.
These little disappointments remind us
—if we live in
close contact with the hopeless current—
of the ceaseless flow of existential despair.
But if our protective illusions and projects remain intact,
we ride over the little waves without noticing the river.
Psychological despair arises from many
situations in human life:
Whenever we dare to dream, such hopes can be dashed;
wherever we aspire, we can be thwarted.
If we trusted love to fulfill us, its collapse might bring
despair.
If we expected our children to make our lives wonderful,
we can feel very disappointed if they go 'wrong'.
If we put our faith in money and possessions,
we might be cast into despair if we lose everything.
I. EXISTENTIAL DESPAIR
DIFFERS FROM ITS PSYCHOLOGICAL TWIN IN 5 WAYS.
1. Psychological despair arises from definite
life-situations.
Whenever we wish for something specific, we can be disappointed.
But existential despair is the comprehensive loss of hope for existence.
2. When psychological despair strikes, we
already understand it.
We know why our dreams will never come true.
We can easily see the cause, reason, or source of our hopelessness.
But our existential despair has no specific cause.
Existential hopelessness arises within us, not from the outside
world.
3. Most hopeless situations (except death)
eventually pass.
After a time we become reconciled to the loss, however great.
We learn to live on, perhaps transforming tragedy into triumph.
But if our basic problem is existential despair, it does not
pass.
4. Hopeless situations can be separated from
one another.
Each difficulty or problem can be met by itself.
But existential despair is not limited to one dimension of life.
It pervades every corner of our being.
5. We handle psychological despair by
accepting the situation
and re-forming our lives around other values and purposes.
But existential despair leaves no area of life untouched.
We cannot climb into another boat and proceed as before.
II. TRYING TO SWIM AGAINST THE CURRENT OF DESPAIR.
Generally, we can cope with psychological
despair.
When one dream fails, threatening to throw us into existential despair,
we pull back from the edge, stabilizing our boat.
If we engage ourselves once again in happy, successful activities,
we can ride over the waves on the River of Despair.
When a little existential despair leaks into the
boat,
we look around for an easy explanation of why we feel bad.
We divert our attention from our Existential Malaise
—without
completely noticing what we are doing,
since to bail too fast means we acknowledge a serious leak.
Our usual way of dwelling on the River of
Existential Despair
denies the underlying reality, the undercurrent of despair.
Walking the deck of our boat, we might occasionally feel off-balance,
but we have not yet toppled into fathomless despair.
By concentrating on interesting, practical, even successful projects,
we might ignore the despairing current beneath our
feet.
The more we notice our despair, the deeper we
become.
We can empathize with others in the same boat.
We stop cheering the other passengers with optimistic
small-talk.
Openly admitting the reality of our common Existential Predicament
makes us deeper, more sensitive persons of spirit.
Often it is difficult to distinguish the waves
from the river.
For instance, the death of a close friend might cause us to feel
hopeless
both because we could do nothing to prevent the death
and because it opens up the total hopelessness of our own doom.
Such a tragedy is good reason for depression and despair,
but if it throws us into the River of Existential Despair,
perhaps the cold water awakens us to our true Predicament.
If we want to obscure the comprehensive
despair of our lives,
we can divide our time into many small tasks.
If we lose ourselves among the daily chores on board,
we can ignore the overall meaninglessness and hopelessness of life.
We can "live one day at a time", focusing on what we can achieve today,
leaving in obscurity our haunting awareness of ultimate hopelessness.
Questions for Discussion
1. In your own life, what specific hopes have been
dashed?
2. How did you re-construct your life after each
specific loss?
3. Do life's ordinary disappointments
sometimes open downward into
existential despair?
4. If you have suffered both kinds of despair, can
you tell them apart?
5. Have you sometimes tried to cope with your
existential despair
as if it
were
caused by ordinary disappointments and failures?
6. On the River of Despair, what kind of boat do you
have?
7. What kinds of storms have thrown you into the
water?
8. After one boat sinks, have you usually found
another one?
9. Is it best to remain oblivious to the River of
Existential Despair?
10. Should you help others to understand and
acknowledge
the
undercurrent of existential despair?
11. Do optimistic religions deny the River of
Existential Despair?
Created March 28, 2004; revised
several times, including: 7-13-2008; 3-5-2011;
5-17-2012; 8-15-2012;
10-23-2013; 4-9-2015; 5-6-2020;
AUTHOR:
James Park is an independent existential
philosopher.
Exploring our Existential Predicament was one of his deepest projects.
Much more about him will be discovered on his website:
James
Leonard Park—Free
Library
This essay on
despair has now become a chapter
in a small book called Inward
Suffering.
Further Reading on Existential Despair
James Park Our
Existential Predicament: Loneliness, Depression, Anxiety, & Death
(Minneapolis, MN:
Existential Books, 2006—5th
edition)
Chapter 10 "Existential
Despair: Floating Down the River of Despair
" p. 253-266.
This link gives you the first four pages of the chapter.
Read other free
books
on the Internet.
Go to other
on-line essays by James Park,
organized into 10 subject-areas.
Go
to the Existential
Spirituality index page.