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84
AUGUST 2012
•
HEMISPHERESMAGAZINE.COM
GEMS/REDFERNS/GETTY IMAGES (LYNN); JIM MCCRARY/MICHAEL OCHS ARCHIVES/GETTY IMAGES (FLYING BURRITO BROTHERS); MICHAEL OCHS ARCHIVES/GETTY IMAGES (PETTY)
Rule No. 7
WEATHER IT
If you’re in a
convertible, your
first response to
rain will be to shout,
“The roof! The roof!” A er the
initial excitement dies down,
you’ll spend a contented hour
being mesmerized by the
rhythmic back-and-forth of
the wipers. When this gets
old, linger over a cup of coffee
in a roadside diner, or loiter
for a while in someplace like
the Musical Wonder House,
a Maine museum devoted to
antique music boxes.
Rule No. 8
PROP UP
A LOCAL BAR
Before turning in for the
night, find the place where the
townsfolk go to unwind. Order
a local brew, or something
that allows you to use the
word “neat.” Don’t be
intimidated. Talk to
people. Ask ques-
tions. Tell jokes.
You can do all
of these things
at Novare Res
Bier Café, hidden
down an alley in
Portland—provided
you’re not paralyzed by the
menu of 525-plus beers.
Rule No. 9
BRING CASH
Noma er howmuch it may
seem like an appropriate
substitute for a couple of
bucks, you should never try
to tip a gas station a endant
with beef jerky. Similarly, do
not a empt to buy a stick of
jerky with a credit card. In
fact, unless you have some
hard currency on your person,
stay away from all heavily
curedmeat products.
DRINK UP,
STRETCH
OUT
“I like to
drink water
and Gato-
rade while
driving [to
stay] well
hydrated.
And every
two or three
hours, pull
over, get out,
walk around
and stretch.”
CHEW IT
OVER
“While you’re
in the seat,
chewing
sugarless
gumwill
help you feel
more alert—
it causes
increased
blood cir-
culation to
the face. An
old tour-bus
driver told
me that, and
it really does
work!”
STAY
SHARP
“Be well
rested, have
a clear mind
and pay
a ention
to your
surround-
ings. And
keep your
cool when
(
when
, not
if
) another
motorist
drives
poorly.”
STOP FOR
A BITE
“I like Sierra
Sid’s in
Sparks, Nev.
They have a
big parking
lot, the food
is good, there
is very cool
memorabilia
on display,
the best
truck stop
showers I’ve
ever used,
and there’s a
casino too.”
DON’T
MULTITASK
“I once saw
a guy in
Austin,
Texas,
playing a
mandolin—
with both
hands—
while driving
during
evening rush
hour.”
*CB handle
PUT SOME THOUGHT INTO YOUR
MUSICAL SELECTIONS
THREE TUNES WORTH SINGING ALONG TO FROM THE PASSENGER SEAT,
BY AMANDA PETRUSICH, CO-PILOT
“IWANNABE FREE,”
LORETTA LYNN
Lynn was preaching gleeful
feminine independence long
before “girl power” became
amarketingmeme, and “I
Wanna Be Free” (“I released
my heart, my soul andmy
mind / And I’ma-feelin’ fine!”)
is exactly the sort of giddy,
everything-is-possible anthem
you want shaking the speakers
when you put the top down for
the first time.
“WHEELS,” THE FLYING
BURRITOBROTHERS
I’ma sucker for just about
anything involving Gram
Parsons—I subjected Sam to at
least a few consecutive hours
of Parsons-related country rock
(strengthened, I like to think,
by several of my own invented
harmonies). And “Wheels” is
Parsons’ untouchable testa-
ment to the transformative
power of the road (“Come on,
wheels, take this boy away”).
“FREE FALLIN’,”
TOMPETTYANDTHE
HEARTBREAKERS
A clichéd pick, perhaps,
but arguably the single
greatest driving song ever
committed to tape. Go ahead
and try
not
punching the
steering wheel when the
drums kick in after the first
verse. Just don’t overdo it
(see Rule No. 15).
RULENO. 11
RULENO. 10
ASK THE EXPERT
Five driving tips from long-haul trucker Slowpoke*