I choseAnanda for itsdo-it-yourself ap-
proach to solitude. The retreat centerdoes
o erguidedgroupprograms for thosewho
want them, but I preferred to construct
myown schedule.WhileAnandapractices
arebasedon the teachingsofParamhansa
Yogananda—andayogiI’mnot—theretreat
welcomesthebeleagueredofallbeliefs.Plus,
the rates are reasonable: For $95 a night,
you’regivenacabinrepletewithaflushtoilet
andashowerwithhotwater(thoughcheaper
optionsareavailable).
IarriveonaThursday.Thoughthecenter
cangetpackedat various timesof theyear,
there areonly a fewof us, and likeme,my
comrades inquiet arewearyprofessionals.
They sport badgesof silence similar to the
oneNischalahas justhandedmeandavert
theireyeswhenpassing,asretreatgoersare
instructedtodo.
“So,no talkingatall?”Iask, just tomake
suretherearen’tany loopholesIcanexploit.
SheriGoldberg, who goes by aSanskrit
name(asdoallthosealiatedwithAnanda
and itsnearby sister facility, TheExpand-
ingLight),putsastackofscrappaperonthe
table. “If it’s absolutelynecessary to com-
municate, youcanwriteanote,” saysSheri,
akaSupriya, a formerSeattlepolicewoman.
“It’sconsideredlegal,butonlyasalastresort.”
She then escortsme tomy cabin, which is
nestled inagroveofpineandcedartreesfar
from themain facilityanddininghall. It’s
round and cozy, with awood-beamed ceil-
ing,asmallmeditationroomandapropane
stove. There’s electricity and a bathroom,
butnoTV, radioorWi-Fi.
Nowwhat?
, Iwonder, unsureofhow I’m
supposed to fill 72hours of unstructured
time. Anticipating my concern, Supriya
handsmea folderwitha listof suggestions.
Takingwalks tops the list. “Exercisewhen
youcan, inwhatever formyou likeandcan
do alone,” thepaper says. “Do lots of deep
breathing in the freshair.”Otherapproved
activities includemeditating (at least two
times aday), yoga, reading “spirituallyup-
lifting”books, restingandraking leaves.
Before Supriya leaves, I pin the badge
of silence onmy sweatshirt, then panto-
mimepulling the zipper closedonmy lips
and throwingaway thekey. Ipull acopyof
¡¢£¤¥¢¦§ ¢¡§¨©©¡§¤¤ª©¨
California’sSierraNevadaMountainswhen
thedirectorof a retreat centerhandsmea
bluebadgeencased inplastic. It reads, “I’m
InSilence.” I stareat thewords, absorbing
theimplicationsofthevowI’mabouttotake
for thenext three days, andwonder if I’ll
beable to shutup for that long. If so, itwill
beafirstforthischattyKathleen,awifeand
motherof two teenageboyswhoworks full
time in communications at a college. Even
worse thannot talking, Iwas forced to sur-
rendermycellphoneandlaptopuponarrival,
severingallconnectiontotheoutsideworld.
Aspainful as itwas, itneeded tohappen.
My brainhad grown addled from the con-
stant barrage of emails, texts and tweets,
and the infernal dinof adaily life inwhich
evenmy coffeepot and car have a voice. I
cravedanadult timeout, andmy search for
solituderevealedIwasn’talone.
Across the country, silent retreats are
gaining popularity as busy professionals
andpeople fromeverywalkof lifediscover
therestorativebenefitsofsolitudeandmedi-
tation.Manyof theweeklong retreatshave
waiting lists, and the lengthof timespent in
silencedepends on the center and thepro-
gram. Somehave silent components, with
conversationpermittedatmealsorevening
activities,whileothersputthekiboshontalk-
ingforaperiodoftimeranginginlengthfrom
onedaytoseveralweeks.
“Thinkofitasavacationfortheinnerself,”
saysNischalaCryer, co-directorofAnanda
MeditationRetreat, the facilitywhere Iam
staying inNevadaCity, Calif. “People are
comingwithbigdecisionsintheirlivesabout
whattodo.Maybethey’ve just lostsomeone
orarethinkingaboutchanging jobsorneed
thattimeaway.”Silenceandmeditation,she
says, helpclear themindof distractions so
we canobserveour thoughts and gainper-
spective. “Sometimes you get answers in
silence,”sheadds.
Autobiographyof aYogi
from thebookshelf
inmycabinand curl upon the sofa. It’sno
bodice-ripper, butwhenwas the last time I
hadtimetoreadabookalone?
Thenextday, I’mawakenedat6a.m. by
theommmof agong, signifying the startof
meditation. I pull on sweatpants, grabmy
flashlight and stumble through thedark to
asmall, simplechapelwherecandlesflicker
onanaltar.Igrabablanketandpillowandsit
cross-leggedonthefloor,tryingtoremember
words thatNischala toldme to repeat.We
canholeup in thequietest placeonEarth,
shehadexplained, but unlesswequell the
noiseinourhead,wemayaswellbeinTimes
Square atmidnight onNewYear’s Eve. A
mantragivesthebrainsomethingtodo, she
had said, therebykeeping the innerchatter
incheck.ThiswillbethefirsttimeI’vemedi-
tated,andI’mnotsurewhattoexpect.Iknow
thepractice isprettycommon, but thefirst
SILENCE ISGOLDEN:
A thirdsilent retreathelpedMai
(top) come to a pivotal decision about her life.With
thehelpofAnandaemployeessuchasSheriGoldberg
(right),writerKathleenParrish (oppositepage)hada
thoroughly rewarding first-time retreat.
54
MAY 01, 2013
AA.COM/AMERICANWAY
