Be sure to take the time to acknowledge your feelings and allow them to process completely.
Even if it is difficult, attempt to talk to others about your feelings, so that you will feel less alone with your pain. However, be sure to remind yourself that moving on is the ultimate goal, and that you still have a hopeful future with new hopes and dreams that will replace your old ones.
If you find that your inner voice is saying negative things about you, try stopping and writing down the negative thought. Journaling while using this structure may help you to achieve a sense of closure and moving on with life, increase your feelings of control over your own recovery from the breakup, enable emotional coping, and thus improve your self-esteem once you are able to make sense of the events that occurred. In order for you to understand why the relationship didn’t work out, your story must have clarity and make enough sense that it could be understood by someone else reading it (not that you’ll necessarily want to share the journal).
Compare the narrative of your breakup to what you want from your future romantic relationships. Your exercise routine doesn’t have to be rigorous, or involve a gym membership, to be effective. Try writing a list of all your best attributes and remember this is who you are so be proud.
This version of How to Boost Self Esteem After a Break Up was reviewed by Kirsten Schuder on March 4, 2015. With the possibility of depression, it is important to know how to recognize suicidal behaviors in yourself and others. Truly healthy relationships don’t normally end suddenly, so it can be helpful to reflect on the different dimensions of your relationship, in order to understand why it did not work out.


Maybe you did not want the same things out of life as your partner, or perhaps there were continuing deficiencies that existed within the relationship.
Remember that going through a breakup will require a mourning process.[5] Grief is a natural reaction to any kind of loss. If your self-esteem is suffering from the break-up, it’s likely that your inner voice is being overly critical of your role in the break-up.[6] Understand that it’s possible to make mistakes and be imperfect without being self-deprecating. Reflecting on a break-up through writing has been shown to assist people in coming to terms with the process. The key to effective break-up journaling is for you to evaluate the breakup experience in the process of retelling it.
Establish your key characters as they relate to the causes and consequences of events that occurred during your relationship.
In a different part of your journal, write down what you consider to be a perfect relationship. Journaling about your breakup can help you achieve a sense of control over the relationship events. This activity has multiple benefits; it takes your mind off of your break-up, makes you feel good about yourself, and it helps others.
While no one else can improve your self-esteem for you, surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family who care about you and truly listen to you can help you get over your break-up and improve your self-esteem.
It’s much more enjoyable with someone you like to do things with and it takes your mind off other things. The end of a relationship can certainly initiate lowered self-esteem and the possible onset of depression, but it can also provide an excellent opportunity for reflection, self-improvement, and most importantly, can provide a learning experience that may benefit your future relationships for many years to come.


Going through a breakup is painful because it may represent the loss of not only the relationship, but of any shared hopes and commitments. It is okay to give yourself permission to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time; you may not feel up to being quite as productive at work, or it may be difficult to give attention to others as you have been accustomed to for a short while.
Writing a narrative story of the relationship can help you better understand why the relationship didn’t work out, and assist you in communicating that understanding to yourself and to others. This may provide you with a more complete sense of your own understanding of the breakup, a sense of ownership, and help boost your self-esteem with those abilities.
Breaking up is hard to do: The impact of unmarried relationship dissolution on mental health and life satisfaction.
The healthy pursuit of self-esteem: Comment on and alternative to the crocker and park (2004) formulation.
This helps you to organize the events into a conceptually manageable format, and then you can more easily see the breakup as an outcome of identifiable causes.
Exercise has the added benefit of helping you be in better physical shape, which may make your clothes fit more comfortably and give you the added boost of self-confidence that often accompanies losing weight.
Find a cooking class and explore the new freedom of following only your own food preferences.



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