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For many many years zombies have been depicted through film, literature, and old people… but have we really been paying attention?
Knowing that you’re safe and secure is a rarity in the zombie infested wasteland that would be Earth (had there been a zombie apocalypse).
Don’t let the movies fool you, a zombie apocalypse is much more than running around being a jackass with a chainsaw.
After you have holed up in one of the approved locations above it’s time to ensure your survival. Set up a line of defenses outside whatever structure you are inhabiting in order to deter zombie attacks or even just to delay them, to where you can escape or make other preparations in order to survive. A sleeping bag – preferably one made of down because it is lightweight and very compact. Matting is also needed (preferably plastic and lightweight) – you must keep your sleeping bag off the ground away from the damp. A backpack – consider keeping a smaller backpack for use during the day and a larger one that you can stash.
In summer you will need a baseball cap to protect you from the sun – this is essential to prevent you from suffering sun stroke and even potentially getting skin cancer from overexposure. It is very important that you travel light – you want to keep your belongings to a minimum and the items above cover virtually everything you will need. But the illusion of safety comes about quite often, and thus, is the end to you, the wayward survivor. FLAME THROWERS ARE SHIT, they only make flaming zombies, and not in the cheery feminine sense. No, fort…Yea, fort) fort then you need to have a well thought out plan as well as a few tricks up your sleeve.
If you are hyperventilating or violently shaking from fear or anxiety you might as well dig your own grave. We are vulgar, debaucherous, and funny bastards that pilfer the internet (or interwebz, if you like) for the news you need so that you don't have to. Living on the streets is not an easy thing – it can be as arduous as a full time job. This means you wear all of your various layers of clothes during the night, but as the day progresses, you can remove each layer successively.
It can also help to conceal a head of hair badly in need of a cut which can be very off-putting to people you may need to deal with. If you have a hole in your shoe and your socks get wet, you will have a miserable few days with wet feet – this can, of course, lead to health problems that you want to avoid. Having said that, you should consider carrying a few other smaller items that can be invaluable. A source of clean water, whether you’re boiling it, catching rain, or if you just have a shit ton of bottled water it is the most important supply(yes, even more than TiVo).


Even if it’s as simple as lining your territory with coke bottles (if one or a few is knocked over then you know something is in your area). The cold can cause your back muscles to freeze up and numb and the result is that when you stretch in the night you can tear them – potentially leading to months of difficulty walking (and walking is what you need to be doing every day). You will also probably want a couple of pens or pencils (you never know when you might need these).
If you do not have quality shoes, forget buying beer – use all the money you can muster to get good shoes without holes. For example, priority mailing envelopes (free at the post office) are great for storing things and they are durable and water proof. Booby traps can also end up saving your life, what types of booby traps will depend on your materials available and the structure you are inhabiting. If you sit around all day you’ll become restless and do something stupid, most likely.
It goes without saying that an essential item is a can opener – without one of these you limiting the types of food you can buy (and canned goods are often the cheapest).
A lot of the body’s heat escapes through the head, therefore this is one of the most important things you will need in winter.
A tip for getting free bags: janitors in large buildings often keep spare bags under the garbage can for easy replacement when emptying. Also strategically placed gas canisters, propane tanks, bear traps, large holes, and any other wonderful explosives around your yard could mean the difference between survival and death. Run the drills over and over again until you could do it half asleep, this will help your chances of survival immensely.
I’m not saying that you should say you think your little sister got bitten and use that as an excuse to shoot her, but if it is a legitimate threat then you must take care of it.
If you can’t get a good quality down bag, double bagging two poor quality ones will do the job (though definitely not as well). You will also want a pair of scissors which you can use for trimming your own hair, cutting your nails, and for any other task that may require the use of something sharp. One homeless guy in the local soup kitchen had been wearing dress shoes that were ill fitting without socks for months – his ankles were covered in festering sores which were being scraped by the shoes every time he walked. If you make sure you take just one or two per garbage can no one will notice and you will have a constant supply on hand. It needs to have few windows, it should be spacious, away from populated places (sorry kids no shopping centers) and be able to withstand an attack. All of these unknown variables makes it difficult to survive, let alone, go looking around for trouble. I understand trying to save someone that you deeply care for, a family member or loved one, just know that it will most likely end up with the destruction of you both.
Zombies are just dead bodies reanimated, they will decompose or eventually run out of a food source and when this happens you will hopefully be alive.


It was too late for him to do anything about it – don’t let this happen to you! You will probably also want to keep a few smaller bags on hand just in case you have a need for them. WARNING: you should under NO circumstances find your way to a hospital or any other healthcare center, these are the first places where the shit hits the fan.
Zombies are deadliest in large numbers, if you go running up or even driving up and start firing, you’re going to attract more and more until you are overwhelmed.
A first aid kit and radio are classic zombie movie necessities, as they would be in the real thing. Don’t go out looking for trouble, loved ones, or safety, because you have to create it yourself.
Follow each of them closely and precisely, there should be no variation of these tips incorporated with your own.
Also don’t go around in a fucking medieval suit of armor trying to kill zombies, BE SMART. Don’t get me wrong the shotgun is a very vital tool but should be used last case scenario.
Geez* Personally, I would try to save my loved one because i would rather die trying to get her than have her die helplessly.
Just be weary of the inmates), Warehouses, Houses or buildings that have a second story in which you can destroy the stairs, and  a bomb shelter would definitely work (but i know many of you don’t have one). Wear athletic style clothes that are somewhat tight fitting and make sure you are in shape. Then there are flashlights and many other things that should be common sense, use your head and be practical. Remember that no matter where you are safety is not ensured and that you will have to work in order to survive. Silenced firearms are pretty hard to come by, but bows, slings and crossbows are excellent in fighting zombies.
But if you want to survive you will have to cut your heart strings and focus on staying alive. The only problem is that it is much more difficult to fire a bow or sling accurately(practice is needed). Not many people living in domestic areas own hand grenades, but you can always make home-made ones.



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