12.07.2014
It is late evening and Mark Nepo’s words speak to me; his writings have been an inspiration in many ways during the past few months.
It is spring again; forty-eight years have past and yet my memories of a small toddler are as vivid as every. This natural symbol of equality of day (light) and night (dark) is a reminder that light and dark are different not better or worse.
Equality is a slippery word in our culture and the term is often used to compare one thing, one thought, one person, and one event to another.
This morning I awaken to the gentle sound of rain, and I snuggle down into the night’s accumulated warmth under my blankets. It is a dark starless night, the rain slashes against the window, the winds howl with 50 miles an hour gusts. He agreed to run away for a day to escape the heat and discomfort brought on by a loss of electrical power in our homes even though his electricity had returned. This evening he invites me to light a candle, to close my eyes, to reopen my eyes, and to see each thing before me. If we examined each Life, it would not be what happens to us that would be different for pain and joy comes to everyone; it would be how we respond to what happens to us that has created our unique experience of our individual Life. I am a personality in a physical body with the power of logic and thought as is everyone else. I can feel within me the need to know who is the night raider and how can I change what is happening in order to have my world be as I choose it to be.


Last night as I looked around during a concert on the mountain, I saw the same people I see almost daily.
Memories of his birth and death have supported me in finding this place where I intend to live with compassion for others and myself and with a love of Life every day and every minute. Today that message is to consider every limitation as an opportunity and to be opened to what is most important to learn in each moment.
So to carry the “Point” into an individual Life, who could argue that pleasant (light) experiences are better or worse than difficult (dark) experiences since every experience has the potential for learning by the being that experiences it.
Like the similar times of day and night in this season, we are connected by individual and collective purposes with an equal opportunity to live our best lives. It is a beautiful spot and it was early evening as the light played its songs upon the angles of the rocks and crevices as we watched.
I focused on these positives as we supported him in whatever healing was possible, and eventually, supported him as his alcohol-damaged body died. His open heart is almost always constant even when he is confused or slightly annoyed with his surrounding world. If I stood in a long line of people, those who know me would recognize me even though we all have two eyes, two arms, two legs, one nose, and one mouth. Later we loaded the bike into his SUV, and I felt as feathery light as the evening air rushing across my skin. She said that when some part of the body is not used, the brain notices and will see the lack of movement as “normal.” She said the unused area becomes more and more unbalanced and eventually creates pain in the body.


Many days and nights before had been extremely cold so the stream had frozen ice sculptures everywhere with running water painting different shades of gray under its surface as the moving water touched the ice in various ways.
Many times the circumstances of life and my thoughts about them hid my beauty from me, and I could not believe others even when they shared their love and compassion for me.
Of course, there are times when I have to say no to someone, and what I’ve found is that even that is easier when I say yes to what is transpiring in the moment and then expand the conversation or activity to make my point or acknowledge someone else’s need. But inside me deeper than even I imagined was a sense of sadness and powerlessness to change the drinking habits of my 37-year-old son. I’ve read, baked cookies, watched the birds out my window, slept late, meditated, done yoga, watched old movies, and just stayed in my home with just me. My mother says, behind the flower the great sun, which I feel on my face, casts a dark surrounding edge that make the blossom even more vivid and creates a shadow of the stamens on the petal itself.
This need to understand everything that happens has been a recurring theme for as long as I can remember. It is the most reoccurring event involving injury that comes to the attention of the Nature Foundation.
On this glorious October day, I felt that I had done everything I could and my body sagged from the weight of wanting him to be different.



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Comments Screaming in sleep every night

  1. Die_Hard
    Consultations organized for mornings,??says Professor Russell Foster.
  2. ZAYKA
    Following you have a distinct pattern they could advocate the throat collapses totally, blocking.
  3. GameOver
    Pain and sensitivity over researchers think that it doesn't just.