22.08.2015
A couple's son has nightmares every night about his own death, in this preview from Ghost Inside My Child. A look at episode 14 of Ghost Inside My Child Season 2 where Brayden begins telling his family details of his great uncle's murder while Mikayla reveals she was a twin and where her fear of separation comes from. A look at episode 13 of Ghost Inside My Child Season 2 where Aiden's mom becomes concerned when he tells her he was killed in a past life by his parents while Ryan reveals he had a past life where his parents were shot in their bed. A look at episode 12 of Ghost Inside My Child Season 2 where Seumas begins to describe details of dying in a lifeboat while Jacob begins to reveal gruesome details of being murdered by a baseball bat. And because little children don’t understand yet how the world works, their minds register many situations as threatening. When an experience has caused fear, a child will either go very quiet and lock down his emotional system until it seems safe again, or will scream and cry with all his might. If an adult can come close, hold the child, and let him know that he’s safe now, the child will cry and thrash and keep expressing fear until the fear has been fully expressed. Many times, at least some of that feelings of fear stays stuck in the child’s emotional memory.
Parents who want to help him will try to hush his expression of fear, because we’ve all been taught that the parent is supposed to hush crying and talk (or threaten) a child out of expressing his feelings. When children are awake, they can stay one step ahead of the feelings of fear they still harbor by being active.
When a child wakes from nightmares crying and screaming, he’s doing exactly what he needs to do to offload his stored feelings.
Children who have spent time in neonatal intensive care, who have had accidents, or who have been through other overwhelming experiences often have night terrors. You have great power to assist your child’s emergence from old fearful experiences if you stay, listen, and guide their emotional release process.
If it’s difficult for you to do, because your child seems so distraught, then it’s smart to find a listening partner. We parents are, understandably, saddened and sometimes frightened by our children’s raw moments. Every night, I reassured him, held him, and told him that whatever had scared him was over and it would never happen again. He had his terrors every night, like clockwork, until his mind finally was rid of the fear, and didn’t send up any more bad dreams.


Our mission is to provide parents with insights, skills, and support they need to listen to and connect with their children in a way that allows each child to thrive. Kerry says: There are several things you can do to reduce the feelings of jealousy between your child and your newborn. My three-and-a-half-year-old has started waking every night around the same time, and screaming. Your child has an acutely sensitive internal monitoring system that signals strong emotional and physical alarm at the slightest hint of danger, injury, or threat. The feeling lasts because at the moment the child is frightened, there isn’t the time or the support for the child to really finish expressing how frightened he became. So the feelings of fear that the child didn’t finish expressing are stashed, uncomfortably, in memory.
A child can become afraid of having his teeth brushed, afraid to wash his hair, or afraid to go into a room by himself, as a way of signaling that he still carries fear within him.
Children who harbor big fears tend to be very active—constant activity distracts their minds from the feelings that linger under the surface. The child distracts himself during the day, but in sleep, there’s no escaping the fact that feelings are rankling inside. Crying, trembling, perspiring, and thrashing wildly are the way children dispel the power that fear exerts in their minds.
The kinder and more confident you are, the harder he will cry and thrash, but then, eventually, he’ll feel OK. So the child’s mind cooks up a frightening image night after night to set up a chance to work through and be finally rid of the fear that sits so uncomfortably in his memory. Their instinct is to heal fully from frightening experiences, and night terrors help a child to do this difficult but liberating emotional work. We love them so much, and, by and large, we haven’t ever taken on the job of helping someone while they face their worst fears. But a listening partnership can give a parent the emotional wherewithal to help a child heal fully from the fearful experiences he’s had. I was with him every moment, but the whole experience was not what you would wish for a twelve-month-old child!
For several months, he would wake screaming and fearful every single night at about 10:30 pm.


And when he would finish, the fear banished for the night, he would just cuddle a bit and go back to sleep.
Being held and reassured through his night terrors was lifting the heavy weight of caution, and allowing him to see the world as a safer place. Studies show that approximately 40 percent of children between the ages of 5 to 12 experience occasional nightmares. Furthermore, you should not allow your child to get in the habit of sleeping the remainder of the night in your bed, as it sends the message that his room is unsafe. When your child is in this state, he’s totally unable to listen to reason and he will just respond negatively to your yelling. By conceding, you’ll only be teaching your child that pitching a fit is the way to get what he wants, and setting the stage for future behavior problems. I also suggest that you and your child begin reading books together about having a new baby. Your son probably is experiencing what they call “night terrors,” which go on night after night for a period of time, and usually entail a recurrent dream, or at least, recurrent feelings of fear. One night, he screamed so loudly that the neighbors over the back fence knocked on our door to make sure everyone was OK.
Moreover, although traumatic events can certainly trigger nightmares, more often than not, nightmares are not a cause for concern. Some good ways to help your child cope with nightmares would be to first, go to your child when you hear him having a nightmare.
Never ever get angry with your child for being babyish, and know that most children outgrow nightmares on their own. If you’re in a public place, then I suggest you leave with your child until he gets a grip.



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